What A Beautiful Day To Not Be In High School

generative AI literally makes me feel like a boomer. people start talking about how it can be good to help you brainstorm ideas and i’m like oh you’re letting a computer do the hard work and thinking for you???

500 likes!

i just realized my life for the past 2 years has just been "receiving support/help/treatment for mental health issues." all my goals have been measured by my mental health issues. all my growth has been measured by my mental health issues. etc. etc. and it feels like i'm not even living.

and like yes my mental health issues are severe, they do impact every aspect of my life, they do heavily inform my identity, how i relate to others, etc. etc. but like. at the same time. even when my mental health was severe as a teenager, i had life outside it. it may not have been much compared to my peers, but i still had a few friends, a few hobbies, a few things that made my days worthwhile.

i don't really have any of that anymore, and i haven't for a long time. i'll have bursts of inspiration and whimsy, but it's always squashed down by judgements echoing in my head. and the worst part is, i blame myself for doing nothing but go to appointments. i blame myself for my mental health getting as bad as it has.

but the reality is. i and so many other severely mentally ill children are not given the opportunity to thrive. we're forced to meet impossible standards. anything we may enjoy or excel at isn't prioritized. everyone's focused on our deficits, our problems, our dangerous/risky behavior, our academics, our future employability, etc. etc.

no one ever sits down with us and earnestly works with us to achieve what we want for our life - what we need. no one prioritizes our happiness, or protects us when we're in danger from others. they just try to fix us, and when that hurts us? we're blamed. we're the ones who aren't trying. we're noncompliant. defiant. misbehaved. irresponsible. it's never the system's fault.

our disabilities and our age just get us totally abused/neglected, all in the name of making us into functional adults. we're not allowed to just be children, and a lot of us don't make it to adulthood. but when we do and still can't function like our peers, the world just leaves us to rot, saying we're old enough now and need to figure it out.

it's so incredibly cruel. no matter your age, if you've been treated this way... it's not your fault. it's not our fault. you're not the only one. you're not the problem. you were/are just a kid - a child in pain... and also an equal - a human being, just like the adults who hurt you. you deserved better. so much better.

Boing boing

oh my god. i can finally see. my dad didn't get "less abusive" because he isn't yelling at me as much. the erosion and violations of my boundaries has been the abuse this entire time.

he isn't terrorizing me anymore because he has less of a reason to. it's not because he's better at controlling his anger. he's just using different methods of manipulation and force.

this feeling of being a daughter-wife that i have. that has been the goal the entire time. it's literally just coercive control and enmeshment.

and i think my apprehension to post this probably speaks for itself (tw for the tags)

I FOUND THIS F* UPED TOY ON THE INTERNET IT'S HILARIOUS

if it's good enough for you, then it deserves to be made. don't let anyone else decide if your story is worth it or not.

It kinda pisses me off to see people shaming Zooble & Jax for finding Kinger to be annoying / insane because they expect Zooble & Jax to feel some kind of empathy / sympathy about his wife’s abstraction. Zooble & Jax are both around HALF THE AGE of Kinger & Queenie, and I honestly believe that Zooble & Jax joined the circus AFTER Queenie’s abstraction and DO NOT KNOW THAT KINGER EVER HAD A WIFE. No character should be expected to feel empathy / sympathy about an event that they very likely are unaware of ever happening!!! I know I’m gonna get attacked for this and my heart is racing with anxiety as I type this because of that, but I’m just telling you what I believe to be the truth. I don’t intend to offend anyone with this so I’m very sorry if I did!!!