Rainbow Aura Quartz

Creating long continuous daydreams to try and go to sleep: great

Creating long continuous daydreams when you’re bored as fuck trying to pass the time: great

Creating long continuous daydreams on a Friday night and realising you’re single and are fantasising over a fictional world and no one actually cares about you: not so great

why are you staring? please stop it.

irony: having to leave my house in order to get therapy for agoraphobia

I’m so achy and tired. I didn’t realize until recently just how much pain I am in on a daily basis. Especially lately, I have had this horrible pain flare up in my entire body. It leaves me so exhausted. I go to my Primary on Monday. I’ll be talking to her about everything, especially some suspicions for other things. Eh. I’m so tired.

me: Fine. Don’t talk to me. You think I need you to message me all the time? Ha. I don’t even care. I don’t even care, not even a little. You want to ignore me fine. Go ahead. I don’t even care. You think I need your constant presence and attention. Laughable. I was alone way before I even met you. Pure childs play. Don’t even @ me. Don’t even bother saying anything to me. I don’t need or want it anyway. 

me 1 minute later: *sobbing* I’m sorry please don't leave me. Fuck I need you. Where are you. What did I do wrong. Was it something I said two months ago? Have you left me like she did, ghosted me?? If I attempt to reach out will you block me?? What did I do?? Im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sor- me 1 minute after that: *trying to think rationally* He’s probably just sleeping. Hes probably busy with schoolwork. Or babysitting. Or the bank. Or family stuff. Or- me 1 minute later panicked: But he always messages you morning. Even when hes busy. He would have let you know. He would have said something if he was going to be away...What if something bad has happened?? What if something horrible has happened to him?? What if hes hurt?? What if something happened to his family?? What if hes suicidal and not telling me and I’m going to lose him??? Oh god oh fuck oh no oh fuck oh god me: What if hes just ignoring you? What if he just doesn’t want you anymore? What if he hates you? What if you pissed him off and didn’t realize it? What if- me minutes later:.....Fine. Don’t talk to me. You think I need you to message me all the-- and repeat forever.  

I'm stupid....and want to die...

hiding secrets in the wishing well