I Only Want Human Contact From The Person I’m Attached To…other Than That I’d Rather Be Alone.

I’m bitter!

When you’re daydreaming a scenario and then suddenly come up with something that would work way better

I can’t look at the night sky the same anymore. It makes me sad that It only makes me think about her and you. 

I think its time to find a new world with a new sky.

Abusive parents force you to hide things you would otherwise never have to worry about hiding, because you learn that they can flip out about anything, make a scene from anything, misunderstand one detail and go insane over it. So you don’t tell them about anything you can avoid, and you try to deal with things yourself as much as humanely possible, which takes the burden of taking care of you from them, and onto your shoulders.

This is dangerous as well because you don’t tell them about a friend who did something horrible to you, you don’t tell them about a sociopath who tried to groom or touch you, you don’t tell them about horrifying heartbreak you feel when someone abandons you, you don’t tell them when your world is falling apart because you know that at best, they’ll be uninterested, at worst, they will tell you it was your fault and you deserved it.

Living in secrecy becomes normal and when you develop trauma symptoms it once again feels like it’s your fault because you never said anything, you never told them how much they were hurting you, you didn’t speak up and open up about your problems. But how in the world would you? You know if you had, all that you would get is insults, blame, threats, guilt and shame thrown in your face, how could you possibly take that on top of having trauma symptoms? You can’t, it’s not worth risking. Suffering in silence becomes your only survival option, and you watch your heart break a little more every day that nobody cares that you’re breaking apart.

Reginald Hargreeves @ Klaus

Me:-eats something-

Stomach:“GET IT OUT OF ME!”

Me:“You’ve had this before and you were fine!”

Stomach:“bitch what did I just say!? IM REJECTING IT!”

Me: multiple chronic illnesses with a wide span of symptoms.

Abled Person: have you tried yoga?

AP: gluten free?

AP: therapy? mindfulness?

AP: exercise?

AP: very expensive trial treatments?

Me: yes, none of it works.

…

AP: well I guess you just don’t WANT to get better then.

- yes, sometimes

Can I get a motherfucking uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bullet to the head?