If I Live Through My 20s, I’ll Genuinely Be Surprised

How to cope with being alone at home and paranoid

These are methods that help -> me <- not immediately go into full “terrible things are about to happen” panic mode

Im lowkey making this post to distract myself from being alone at home and paranoid but anyway

Call someone, even if its just making a doctors appointment or stuff like that. Consider a mental health line even when you’re not having a meltdown the whole experience is very distracting

If its during the day, open some windows and listen to life going on outside of your isolation chamber

Listen to some fun podcasts, mbmbam is my life and distracts me from incoming feelings of dread

Since you probably already thought of the worst possible outcome, try to think of the best possible outcome and come to the conclusion that probably neither is going to happen and that this day is going to be like any other day because nothing EVER happens

Dont watch that scary video

Dont do it

I swear to god

If you’re going to be alone the entire day and night, make a strict routine for that day so you’re going to be too distracted for fear

Sit in the sun, take a hot bath, put an icecube on your forhead, seek out sensory stimuli, but dont hurt yourself

Look for a pet, pet that pet

If you got stuff like “okay but did I REALLY lock the door?” over and over again ,visualise the memory of you locking the door in your mind and check in your mind reality instead of your meat reality

Make a post about your coping mechanisms because maybe they could help someone who knows

Im in so much fucking pain holy fuck i dont know what i did but jesus christ it hurts so bad I can’t stay still and id beg for pain medicine rn and i hate medicine but fuck please make it stop its fucking agony

negativity

[my edit]

im having a weird day

do a bro a favor and reblog

Abusive parents force you to hide things you would otherwise never have to worry about hiding, because you learn that they can flip out about anything, make a scene from anything, misunderstand one detail and go insane over it. So you don’t tell them about anything you can avoid, and you try to deal with things yourself as much as humanely possible, which takes the burden of taking care of you from them, and onto your shoulders.

This is dangerous as well because you don’t tell them about a friend who did something horrible to you, you don’t tell them about a sociopath who tried to groom or touch you, you don’t tell them about horrifying heartbreak you feel when someone abandons you, you don’t tell them when your world is falling apart because you know that at best, they’ll be uninterested, at worst, they will tell you it was your fault and you deserved it.

Living in secrecy becomes normal and when you develop trauma symptoms it once again feels like it’s your fault because you never said anything, you never told them how much they were hurting you, you didn’t speak up and open up about your problems. But how in the world would you? You know if you had, all that you would get is insults, blame, threats, guilt and shame thrown in your face, how could you possibly take that on top of having trauma symptoms? You can’t, it’s not worth risking. Suffering in silence becomes your only survival option, and you watch your heart break a little more every day that nobody cares that you’re breaking apart.