I'm Not Attacking Your Beliefs, I'm Just Playing Devils Advocate. Why Do You Believe In Christianity?

Has anything actually gotten better, for all the work you talk about doing? Or is it just treading water in misery forever?

Anon, ten years ago gay people couldn't get married in large parts of the US. AIDS was an almost certain death sentence when I was in high school. I was looking at job boards the other day and found a part time gas station job that had health insurance as a benefit, which NEVER would have happened 15 years ago. When I was a kid, hitting your child was extremely normalized in the US and my parents were the weird ones for not doing it. There is a vaccine for chicken pox. I didn't meet anyone who had transitioned until my 20s because it was so uncommon to transition in the aughts, and now there are some states that protect your right to have gender affirming care provided by your health insurance. It's not all states, but it's better than the number of states that had it in 2010, which was zero. THERE ARE TENANTS UNIONS NOW. WE HAVE A VACCINE AGAINST CERVICAL CANCER.

And all of that has been the work of a lot of individuals and organizations and research teams and activists.

I am not Christian, but I'm doing a project on Margery Kempe for school. She was a deeply religious person, her love for Jesus was so strong she would cry even at the thought of Him, as it remind her directly of His death. She morned for His death as if it had happened that very day. The society in which she lived didn't necessarily condone this behaviour. As someone who is religious what are your thoughts and opinions on Margery Kempe and her behaviours? I value your opinion.

Aww! You value my opinion?! I’m so honoured! 

Okay so I have a lot of thoughts on the topic of Margery Kempe. 

The first is that her religious education may have been slightly deficient.

I read that she wanted to become a nun but she couldn’t because she was already married. And also that she wanted to devote herself to a life of servitude for Christ but that she became a businesswoman instead. These two things are not mutually exclusive. God places people in innumerable different locations, vocations and situations as a part of his “master plan” (if you will) and people are just as effective in ministry as a teacher, a nurse, a lawyer, a doctor, a janitor, a McDonald’s employee or a plumber…as they are as a pastor.

Furthermore, a marriage need not be celibate to enhance your spirituality. Paul is one example of someone in the bible who was celibate and he wasn’t even married. He was just single. [EDIT: single at the time when he was writing the part of the bible that we read. SIDENOTE: Whether or not he may have ever been married is over my head and I have to do some more research. I’ll get back to you.] Paul said himself that it is “better to marry than to burn with lust” (1 Corinthians 7:9). And apparently ms. Kempe was subject to sexual temptations. God never intended for us to never ever have sex. He just designed it with a users manual (see what I said about sex here).

And finally, the whole confessing of your sins thing. Part of the reason she had her first vision was the panic brought on by the belief that she was not absolved from her partially-confessed “secret sin” and the fear of eternal damnation. Just for the record, that’s not how it works at all. You don’t have to go through a priest; you can speak directly to Jesus. And as soon as you tell him what it is you feel bad about and apologize for it, it’s gone. Poof! Might as well have never happened, for all He’s concerned. So for all these reasons, I think that Margery’s starting point was a bit flawed. 

Second of all, if I met someone who behaved the way she did today, I would think they were a wingnut.

I’m 100% serious. She sounds like a straight-up lunatic. That being said, I am IN NO WAY saying that her visions were not real or that she was a liar. I know that Jesus loves her deeply and passionately, and that she is of infinite importance to Him. I just wonder at the way she reacted to them. I personally feel that she had some personal, very human, issues that acted as a filter through which she perceived her religion and that these issues affected her behaviours. 

For example, take the fact that she had “sexually charged visions of Jesus” (found on spark notes, haha). woah. gurlfran, if you’re having sexually charged visions of Jesus, I think something is very wrong. Jesus is (as of right now) a totally spiritual being, and I think that a real and pure encounter with someone who is a totally spiritual being, could not be so closely associated with such a very carnal and physical desire unless it was corrupted by something. 

Also, check out this quote from an interesting article I found on the topic: 

“During the medieval period women were subjected to either of two stereotypes: They were the subject of clerical misogyny that saw women as the incarnation of every evil or docile, virginal martyrs – both extreme presentations. However, in a time when women’s voices were generally very rarely heard, female mystics who experienced ‘signs from God’, (such as visions), were empowered to speak out and challenge the social perceptions of themselves.”  

Is it possible that the interactions between Margery’s gender and her religious experiences played a role in some subconscious motivation for her incredibly public displays of emotion? I’m just asking. 

Finally, in that same article mentioned above, it says that modern-day psychologists say that she exhibited many of the symptoms of schizophrenia: 

The inability to make or keep friends

A preoccupation with self

Anxiety

The obvious, delusions and visual and auditory hallucinations…”visions”, as it were.

Apparently, it is possible that her schizophrenia was triggered by “childbirth, bereavement and the exhaustive demands of a religious life.” Furthermore, “The form schizophrenia takes is directly linked to the cultural and social influences to the patient, and in the pre-scientific mass psyche of the Middle Ages, schizophrenia understandably manifested itself religiously.”

Okay, again, even though it may sound as thought I’m very skeptical (okay, I’m kind of skeptical) I am not negating the validity of her spiritual devotion. I’m not an expert, I’m just some chick in the 21st century with a laptop. I wasn’t inside her head, and I will never presume to fathom the ways of God. I just think that our religious beliefs and behaviours are filtered through our human experience, and I think that she had a lot of filters. 

The third thing I thought when reading about Margery Kempe was, “but…Jesus isn’t dead anymore.” 

It’s a terribly simplistic and childlike thing to think, but it’s true nonetheless. I understand that she mourned for the depth of his suffering, and the time, when He was on the cross. That’s cool. We all should, and do, take time to understand the inhumanity and cruelty of His murder. I honestly think that history was arranged in such a way that Jesus had to endure the cruelest form of death ever devised by man. 

HOWEVER. The really exciting thing…the thing on which our whole entire system of belief is founded…the thing that blows my mind…is that Jesus DID NOT STAY DEAD. I told my grade one-ers on Sunday morning: “Jesus beat Death!” And He is risen, and He is reigning, and His victory over death brought life for you and for me. And so weeping continuously reminds me of this skit. Jesus is no longer dead and we cannot treat Him as such. We should be celebrating His resurrection and His victory, and the freedom that brings to us! 

Last thought, I promise. Have you ever heard the expression, “too heavenly minded to be of any earthly good”? 

Now you have. That’s what I think about Margery. I mean if, as Christians, we truly believe in the love and mercy and gospel of Jesus Christ, then our primary goal should be to attract people to Him and to show them His love. 2 Corinthians 5:13 says “If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit.” I interpret that verse this way: 

Humans are primarily spiritual beings in physical shells. And our creator is a majestic, infinite, wonderful, awe-inspiring, spiritual being. And when we closely encounter Him, it messes us up, man. In a good way. Such experiences manifest themselves in the physical world (some say “in the natural”) in interesting ways, like strange languages, tears, laughter, trembling, and sometimes falling down. I think that when one experiences an encounter with God, the only natural response is an involuntary outpouring of emotion. I mean, it’s God. Our instinctive reaction to His presence is awe and worship. But I’ve only ever seen these things happen in a church service, which is a safe environment, where we’re not gonna scare anybody. You would generally not expect to see someone having a “God moment” in the middle of the street. 

And we have to be conscious of our “dual-citizenship”, if you will. Yes, we are spiritual, and we must live as such. But we are also physical, and we are put here, in this physical world, for a reason. We’ve got stuff to do. And if we’re walkin around cryin all the time, we’re not gonna get anything done. 

So like, you said that you’re not a Christian. And you know that I am. If we know each other in person, hopefully I have never behaved in a religiously fanatical manner in your presence. I try to keep that toned down ;) in all seriousness, I try to be as in the world (while not being of the world) as I can. If we’ve never met in person, I promise I’m not gonna dissolve into tears at the sight of any babies. I won’t hit you with bibles or throw holy water on you. I’ll try to be pretty normal :) 

IN CONCLUSION (”finally!”, you say): Margery Kempe was probably a devoted christian woman, who truly loved her lord, but who lacked the proper religious education, and who was somewhat troubled and misguided. 

Thank you for the question :)Peace and love! -Katherine 

God works for the good of those who love Him.

Are you aware of the process of courting before engagement? It's like hands-off dating until you're engaged and then only hugs and hand-holding until you're married. How do you feel about this, is it something you would do?

Hello! I am indeed aware of such a process! In fact, one of my best friends is Muslim and that’s basically what they do…it’s like hands-off dates with a chaperone. I know it sounds sooo tiresome, but the whole point is to find out whether you are interested in spending the rest of your life with this person. And honestly, it sounds to me like they’re perfected the art of dating.

I am very incredibly interested in what it would be like. I think I really would try it. I don’t think that it’s necessary to remain pure, and I’ve always looked rather askance at the concept of saving your first kiss for your wedding day (simply because I think it’s a tad extreme, and unnecessary). So I don’t exactly think that it’s the right way to do it, but I think it sounds very interesting. It might be a good idea :P

I find that the physical aspect of a relationship has the potential to cloud judgment. Provided I can determine whether or not I’m physically attracted to someone and be aware of it (which I can, I dunno bout you :P) - because physical chemistry still is and always will be a very important part of a relationship - I think that it’s a “smart” way to do dating. You spend your time productively finding out how your values and worldview line up, and discussing thoughts and ideas instead of just, like, macking. :P

Because as important as physical chemistry is, it’s not what holds a marriage together. Mutual respect, appreciation, admiration and commitment is what holds a marriage together. And it’s possible that the way most people do dating focuses too closely on the physical aspect, and doesn’t prepare them for the future. So I think the process of courting *could* potentially produce stronger marriages. 

So in theory, I’m all for it. In practice…….

Honestly, I don’t even know if I could do it :P Well, I guess I could. I probably wouldn’t like it though :P When I’m in a relationship, the mental energy I devote to the physical part is divided evenly between paranoia about PDA and “I can’t wait to kiss him again”. So I think in one way, it’d be best kind! In another, it would annoy me. Thankfully, my love language is not physical touch! It’s words of affirmation, so I think that as long as I got to talk and text, I’d survive. 

Haha that was probably a long of information about me you didn’t need to know. But hopefully, it helps you understand my perspective. :) 

Thanks for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine 

"How the Media Failed Women in 2013," courtesy of Miss Representation. This is mind-boggling and you must watch it right now.

Do not say to me "it's all about the fetus" with that bitterness in your tone!

Abortion is not about who we like more - the mother or the fetus! This is an issue of quality of life vs. sanctity of life. And as I've said before, no one can prove at what point between conception and birth that clump of cells becomes a human. But we all agree that once it pops out of the birth canal, it is a person, and THEN it's wrong to kill it. So here's my big issue. For me, sanctity of life ALWAYS trumps quality of life. I'm not going to justify killing an unborn person just for the comfort of someone who's ALREADY been born. IF (that's a big IF) one believes that a fetus is a person, then an abortion is a murder for the sake of sparing someone inconvenience. I know I know I know there are so many reasons why someone might get an abortion. What you're saying there is that in some circumstances the fetus is not a person. Unless you don't believe a fetus is ever a person, then whatever. But you have to take a stance. If you think abortion is only justified in some circumstances, then you have some gaps in your understanding of personhood. Because you're basically saying there that only when the mother decides she wants the baby does the baby indeed become human. I'm not asking you to agree with me. I am asking you to really think about why you believe what you believe. Don't say "it's all about he fetus" as if we were choosing the fetus over the mother because if you say that to me, I will respond "yes! In this instance, it is about the fetus for me because the fetus is the one who might die!" Think about what you say. Think about what you think. This is a brutally complicated topic and we all run the risk of oversimplifying it sometimes, which is exactly what the titular statement does.

I love your blog, Katherine! and I had a question myself. I was wondering, do you think God has a specific person picked out for us to spend our lives with? (like a soul-mate per say). I (as you know) am a christian and I believe the Lord does have someone for each and every one of us, but there are people who get divorced or never get married, etc. I was just wondering what you thought? :) God bless, Michaela <3

Hey gurl! Thanks so much and right back atcha! :) This is a very, VERY interesting question! My mom thinks that there are any number of people out there that you could be compatible with and given the course your life takes, you might marry any one of them. I mean, if you’re just looking at physical chemistry, personality compatibility and common values, then yes, I imagine there are lots of people out there that I could marry. I personally hope that there’s only one that I will marry, but who knows what’ll happen. In my most sappy moments, I like to believe that my mom is wrong and there is one person that God has “ordained” (if you will) for me and he’s made just right for me and that we’ll go perfectly together like two halves of a whole. 

And if you think about the fact that God has a plan for each and every one of our lives, it makes you wonder if that plan includes a spouse. But then that also depends very heavily on the nature of the plan. Is it a plan like “Katherine, I will use you to inspire people”, or “Katherine, I will use you to feed the hungry” or is it more like “You will work for this company from the 12th of september, 2022 at exactly 11:32:56 am until the 23rd of april, 2036, at exactly 5:44:21 pm”? I dunno. Cause here’s where my brain starts doing gymnastics. Because, like, I’ve heard of God giving people very specific instructions. Stuff like, “go talk to that person.” or “go to this church.” Also, it says that every single day of our lives were “written in His book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16) but what does that mean? Does that mean that He can already see all the choices that we’re going to make? See, the concept of time is very difficult to talk about in relation to God because He is just so OUTSIDE of time that it’s practically pointless to even try to talk about the two of them together. Time might as well not exist for Him because it’s such a very finite measurement of things happening. So I kind of picture God’s view of life not as a timeline but more of a web of consequences. Like He can see all the decisions that people make and how that brings them into contact with other people and how we affect each others’ lives and stuff like that, but not in a linear fashion the way we see time.

So MAYBE, God gives us passions and talents and stuff for a more general plan and then our choices affect the way that plan unfolds, you know? Because what’s the point of giving us free will if our destinies were completely mapped out for us from the start? I absolutely do not believe in destiny. I believe that we create our own destiny. And even though God has a plan for us, we may choose not to follow it. Of course, I think that His plan is the best version of our lives that we could possibly live, but I think it’s highly dynamic and highly variable based on the decisions we make. Maybe God doesn’t actually have a specific person picked out for us, maybe that just depends on what we choose, and He takes it on a case-by-case basis, you know? 

Because He is very much involved in our daily lives. He’s right there with us every step of the way, and we can hear his voice if we listen, even in the most trivial matters. So I’m sure He has an opinion on the person we’re gonna marry, I just don’t think I necessarily believe that He has one picked out for us. 

I know that was so long and maybe a little complicated, haha. I just wanted to give you a good understanding of why I believe what I believe :) Thanks so much for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine 

Okay, so say you've met someone and you guys fell in love. You want to wait till marriage for sex. He isn't a virgin but is willing to wait. Would you still be with him? Why? Or why not?

When talking about that issue on its own, yeah I would still be with him. There are many factors affecting any relationship, but for me, one’s sexual history is not one of them. 

The main thing I look for in a potential husband is a deep and abiding love of Christ. I want someone who will always put God before me; someone who listens to the voice of the Holy Spirit before mine. Someone who knows how to love himself and love me because he understand how God loves us. So I will marry a devout and practising Christian. Probably a charismatic Christian because someone who’s not charismatic might get a teensy bit freaked out by the whole “speaking-in-tongues” thing. 

What happened before they met Jesus really doesn’t matter to me. Whether my future husband was raised in the church and maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he’s known Jesus for years or maybe right now he still hasn’t met Him. Maybe he did drugs and was involved in gangs and committed all sorts of crimes and slept with hundreds of women. Maybe he struggled with depression and low self-worth and faced cutting and suicidal thoughts and all sorts of awful stuff. 

I dunno. But I do know that when you meet Jesus, it’s now just that your life is changed…it’s literally like dying and being reborn as a new person. In church we call it being “born again”. Because God will take your old life and your old identity and give you a brand new one. He will open your eyes and your mind to His vast, unconditional love. Love that is stronger than life and death. Love that stole the keys to the gates of Hell so that you and God could be together for eternity. Love that is stronger than anything that’s happened to you in the past. Stronger than anything you’ve done. Stronger than habits you want to break. Stronger than your own self-deprecating thoughts. 

And God, being divinely and supremely perfect, is the only person in the entire existence of everything who could possibly judge you for your past mistakes. And He doesn’t. He tosses your past transgressions into a sea of forgetfulness and it might as well be as if they never even happened. So who am I to hold them against you? 

If this potential husband were a born again, orthodox, hardcore, practising Christian who is on fire for God and respects me and is willing to wait for marriage, the fact that He’s not a virgin means less than the number of freckles on his elbow. Thanks for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine 

What are your thoughts on casual drinking?

Funnily enough, I was talking to someone about this today! 

Okay so I have this theory that God tells us not to do stuff to protect us. I know I’m so brilliant, right? lol :P But I mean, he tells us not to get drunk (See Ephesians 5:18, Galatians 5:21, 1 Corinthians 6:10, and 1 Peter 5:8) and not to gamble, and to avoid sexual promiscuity. Now all of these things have a fair amount of risk associated with them. When you’re drunk you can make some pretty stupid decisions and hurt people and probably regret a few things down the road. And also of course there’s the liver damage. Gambling can lead to addictions which can destroy your finances, your family and your life. And sexual promiscuity can lead to unwanted pregnancies, STDs and a whole bunch of emotional crap that I mentioned here. So this theory is that everything God tells us not to do is for a good reason and we’re probably better off without it anyway! 

So basically, if God says not to do something, I trust that he knows what he’s talking about, and I figure that’s a good enough reason for me not to do it. By this logic, I choose not to get drunk. That being said, I see no problem with casual drinking. It’s all a personal decision anyway! I choose not to get drunk, but I always try a sip of my friends’ beers (it ALWAYS tastes disgusting) and I took a shot for my friend’s 19th birthday, but I’ve never consumed enough alcohol for it to have the slightest effect on me. Lots of my friends drink, and I’ve seen my friends get drunk. I’m not gonna tell anyone what to do, and if you drink I don’t care, that’s your business! If you’re a Christian and you drink casually, I’m not judging you. If you’re genuinely wondering my opinion because you are trying to figure out where you stand I say choose for yourself, draw your line and know your limit. 

Hope this helped! :)

Peace and love! -Katherine

Dearest,

Look at the scars on your wrists. Now look at the scars on mine. On my wrists, on my head, on my back. Look at the blade in your hand. Now, do you see the thorns?  Do you see the whip? Do you see the nails? Look at your own blood you spilled. Now look at mine running down the rugged wooden tree.

Do you know how much I love you?

When you feel worthless, remember that I love you individually and personally. Every part of you is familiar to Me and I love you deeply no matter what. You are the apple of My eye. You are priceless to Me. You are so valuable to Me that if you were the only person ever in the entire world, I would have suffered every horror of the cross just the same. I died for you.

When you feel like a mistake, remember that I made you. I do not make mistakes. You are perfect exactly the way you are. You are My masterpiece. When I look at you, I see My wonderful creation, and I see your soul shining through. I see a beautiful vessel of My Spirit which I placed in you, a spirit of freedom, a spirit of victory, a spirit of power.

When you feel like nothing good could ever come of you, remember that when I created you, I had a specific purpose in mind, and a glorious plan for you life. I will use you to impact lives and to change the world in your own special way and I equipped you with the exact right skills, passions, talents and experiences to do it.

Again I ask you, do you know how much I love you?

Every pain you feel, ever drop you bleed, every tear you cry, I wish you did not have to. That’s why I went to the cross. I took every single heartbreak, every single addiction, every single mistake, every single negative thought about yourself on my shoulders on the cross. I felt everything you feel…

…So that you wouldn’t have to.

I was crucified in the most inhumane way possible. Unendurable agony for 6 hours. And then, God the father turned His back on me. Every sin of this world was laid on my shoulders and I was completely alone. All that you feel multiplied 6 billion times.

My child, I took all of your pain. I conquered all your addictions, all your self-hate and self-harm. I am Lord of life and death. I went down into the depths of Hell and came back. I won the victory on the cross, I bought your freedom. I went through it so that you don’t have to. You are free.

That’s how much I love you.

I want to give you LIFE  and life more abundantly! I want to wrap my arms of love around you and never let go. I want to blow your mind with the amazing plans that I have for you. I want to fill you so full of peace and hope and love and joy that you’re overflowing. Will you let me?

-Jesus

P. S. Put down the blade. I say you’re better than that.