See, You May Be Talking About How I'm A Useless Piece Of Shit

See, you may be talking about how I'm a useless piece of shit

But I've already killed myself ten different ways in my head.

More Posts from Demonicgirl88 and Others

6 months ago

Ragh! Gyarh! 👍

Spy Tf2 And His Identity

Spy tf2 and his identity

Character analysis (or at least my vision on him, if you believe my reasoning)

What do we know about Spy? He's a disguise mastermind. He can pretend to be anyone in order to infiltrate into the scene to do his job - quite literally, stab people on the back. But when he's not in the battle, what is he to his teammates? A suave Frenchman, a gentleman with taste, somewhat a leader.

At least, that's the persona he prefers to show. But is he really..?

What if I tell you that this person never drops his disguise?

For a man who always wears a mask and who's identity being secret is a sacred part of his role in this job, isn't this persona too much to show if it is real? Frenchman, rich, ladykiller... Wouldn't it be too easy to decipher his identity with so much clues provided? Wouldn't it be dangerous?

While Miss Pauling and the Administrator definitely know Spy's real identity, hiding it is a major thing for whatever reason. One could assume it might be because of Scout (obvious guess) but I doubt he's a sole reason. Spy very much enjoys being the Spy all by himself. Do what's the deal?

Let's start from the beginning.

Why did Spy join Mann Co. in the first place?

Let's take this assumption as a fact: people come here out of desperation. They are professionals in their field, yet in their past/casual life there is a pattern of them having difficulties that push them into joining this service. I don't see why Spy would be an exception.

The reason for joining is usually money. Some people question why Spy, a wealthy man from higher society, would join Mann Co. if he has it all already.

Well, probably because he really does not.

Have you ever met an aristocrat? Wealthy people don't get so protective about their expensive suits, they can afford cleaning or a new one. Regardless, rich people don't usually get stingy about material goods, especially if they're mass produced.

At least, not those who were born into wealth.

Spy's defensiveness about his "wealthy stuff", his pomp-ness, disgust and arrogance towards "plebs" gives off a man who knows what it means to live in poverty and who doesn't want to be associated with it ever again.

(Not even talking about his own filthy habits such as not washing his mask and pissing on walls? Jesus Christ)

Dare I even guess that he might be not French at all? His French is so broken. (Although, so is Medic's German, but at least he uses his language much more frequently and in more complex sentences, while Spy only uses French to say some basic expressions, occasionally confusing them with other languages). Definitely not a native.

If anything, he's not giving "rich man" at all, he's giving con man. And that fits my picture perfectly.

So, poor upbringing. How old is Spy? If he's Scout's father (and he was young when he was conceived), I'd say he's no less than 20 years older than him. I'd give him a few more years actually. So, approximately Spy is around 50 at the events of the game (1968-1972). Let's assume he was born somewhere in the 1910s.

Even if he's not French, I still agree that he's probably European. Hmm, what was happening in Europe at the time Spy was a kid?

Oh yeah. The Great Depression.

See my picture: imagine, a child from a lower class family during the Great Depression, his parents were most likely to not take good care about him (both because of the economical situation AND as an echo to Spy's struggles with his own fatherhood). He has to run away from home early and start to make money. Any way possible.

Unavoidably, it leads to crime.

Petty theft, blackmail, scams. Changing identities. Selling low quality products and services. Changing identities again. When older, seducing rich women to stay at their homes overnight, be fed and supported. Running away from the police. Walking into a trap of the mafia, and then joining them as their goon.

In this nightmare of a life he just had to keep pretending to be someone else, someone better and stronger, in order to his ego to not completely shutter. He had to imagine he was an invincible mastermind trickster of some sort, not just a poor boo-hoo victim of poverty who has never knew normal life and care.

And if you pretend for long enough, you become your role eventually... Right?

His true self was long lost forgotten under many layers of new identities. Worse, his true self was never known. And he didn't want it to be known in its ugly and disgusting vulnerability. Narcissism became his lifeline.

It's so much better to be Spy. To be rich and elegant and respected. His ego rebuilt.

4 months ago

Honestly it feels, from a purely extracting from social media and other resources way: like we are going into either a facist regime or a American revolution. It's honestly terrifying what that man did as soon as he got in office. But at least it's not as bad as my worst case scenario. But I think it'll get there eventually.

In other offline news: nothing feels like it has changed over where I am.


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3 months ago

Me, leaning against the wall with a flirty smirk on my face: "hey good looking, what's cooking?"

The steel factory:

Me, Leaning Against The Wall With A Flirty Smirk On My Face: "hey Good Looking, What's Cooking?"

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6 months ago

Honestly, thinking about it, my life could be a great crop of beautiful content, especially given the stuff that happens to me every day.

Today wasn't too interesting, but it was probably unusual by other people's standards.


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1 month ago

I'm so disgusting


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6 months ago

Team Fortress the Second... Mmm

Reblog if TF2

image

I want to see how many people are in this goddamn fandom


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5 months ago

It often does, though.

demonicgirl88 - My world

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4 months ago

What a cutie

(*some photos of tardigrades don't show their eyes because they're 3-d scans of the tardigrade's surface and the eyes are inside of their transparent head)


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4 months ago

Dude why the fuck am I seeing so much shit about the country my dad immigrated from

demonicgirl88 - My world

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demonicgirl88 - My world
My world

I will post stuff, I sure wonder if anyone will see it.

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