10 Tease & Chastity Tips

More On Milking...

Written by Mistress Ivey,

Last time, we discussed some of the reasons for milking your partner’s prostate, and why you should not pay any attention to what the Internet says you should do. It’s time we got down to business. Let’s discuss the mechanics of prostate milking, just for the record, and to make sure you are doing it right.

If you look at the photo below, you will see what you have to do. Your finger may need to be a little further in than the photo would make you believe, but you don’t want to push it in too far, either. You should be able to feel his prostate. If it is enlarged, a common malady in older men, barring any serious health issues, it makes no real difference. All you need to do is to rub your finger up and down the prostate to stimulate semen flow.

There are number of positions that you might want to use. If you can place him on his knees with his head down, this is probably the easiest method. Doctors often do it with the patient standing, slightly bent over at the waist.

Use whatever position is easiest for you. Be especially careful not to push your finger(s) in too far. Although this still might work, you will most likely be pressing behind the prostate instead of directly on it.

Don’t be in too big a rush. This can take time, especially when you are just learning to do it. I have spent as much as twenty minutes massaging a prostate before getting any fluid out. The more you practice on the same person, the easier it will become. With practice, you will eventually be able to achieve your goal within a few minutes.

We have discussed the some of the basics of prostate milking, including what you can expect to see. But, again, I must warn you, do not believe what you see or read on the Internet about prostate milking (especially porn videos!). If you stroke your partner’s penis while attempting to milk his prostate, chances are he is going to have a full orgasm instead of the actual prostate ejaculation you were wanting.

Even if all you do is to hold his penis gently in your hand, it may be too much stimulation, and can cause him to have a full ejaculation. If your man is in chastity, I recommend leaving the chastity device in place so you won’t be tempted to fondle the wrong part of his body while doing this. What you are trying to achieve, can be done even if your guy is wearing a chastity device of any kind. In fact, this is one way many women “relieve” their man without having to allow him any kind of “normal” ejaculation.

If you are concerned about what might happen if your husband (or partner) never gets to have an orgasm, prostate milking is an excellent way to get around this. Doctors agree, though there is no hard evidence that abstinence causes any kind of health risk, prostate milking is an excellent way around this.

By milking his prostate, you give him relief (physically) that will prevent any prostate cancer or other related health risks caused by abstinence. Like anything else, practice makes perfect. Or, as they say, the best way to get to Carnegie Hall is practice, practice, practice. Although prostate milking relieves his bodies physical need to ejaculate, it does nothing for his desire for sexual release. That is, none of the after orgasm drop, or inability to achieve an erection.

So if you feel the need to allow your guy to have some sort of orgasm in order to prevent any health risks, I recommend prostate milking. Coupled with anal sex, it can be fun for both partners. If done alone, as a means of humiliation, or just testing his reproductive system, prostate milking can be fun for the both or you. Try it. You just might like it…

Thanks to MistressIvey

A blast from the past! You have been missed - very happy to see you again. Thank you for coming back around! Please stay… 😎❤️

July 1 in the year 2024... just thought I'd drop in and was lucky enough to have saved my password. Is there anyone still out there who I know? Is tumblr even close to what it was when I walked away so many months ago?

Teasing in T&D or Chastity Play!

A girl doesn’t feel like playing all the time and chastity gets sort of ruined if you let him out every time you don’t feel very frisky. On the other side of the spectrum, simply ignoring him while in chastity is actually the most cruel, effective punishment for a locked man who is not behaving or who is constantly breaking your rules.                                           

So what do you do to get through the dead spots (for me it’s mostly if I’m really tired, stressed or busy) without being neglectful? After three or so years of playing this game with my wonderful husband, I’ve observed the following about the two of us and extrapolated it to apply to everyone since everyone else is exactly like us, I’m sure.                                           

Part of the magic of chastity play is that the male, who usually has the higher sex drive, is “playing” 24/7. He’s eating, sleeping, going to work, everything really with his penis locked up. Any stray sexual thought quickly reminds him about the game he’s playing. His keyholder probably has a lower libido but that’s okay because she just has to give him the occasional nudge to keep him at a full simmer. A little bit of attention on the days when you just don’t feel very playful will keep him happy and from feeling neglected until you’re a little more enthusiastic and ready to turn the heat up to a full boil.

Here are some of my tips for low maintenance chastity play. I try to make sure I do some combination of these every day when the nub is locked up. They take hardly any time, and I know they make him feel loved. They’re little things that get magnified in his mind by the cage.                                           

Fondle his balls every day. Ideally once in the morning and once at night. No matter how busy or tired I am, I can always find two minutes in bed to do this. I don’t even have to remove the CB. Our sleep schedules are a little different. He’s a night owl and I’m a morning person, but that doesn’t stop us. When I’m going to bed I just whisper in his ear that I want to see him in the bedroom. He never says no! I fondle his poor trapped balls for a few minutes (two to five is plenty) and then say good night. He can go back to his computer after that. If I feel like kissing a bit, I can do that, but if I don’t I just tell him to lie there and keep still while I “play with my nub” I wake up before he does in the mornings too. But he never seems to mind if I wake him up by playing with his balls! Again, just a few minutes. Enough to get a groan or two out of him and then I go take my shower or get my breakfast.                                           

Remind him of his situation. Of course he already knows he’s locked up and you have the key, but reminding him lets him know you’re thinking about him. You haven’t forgotten about him, you’re just waiting for the right time to make use of him. I’ll walk by him in the kitchen, give him a quick squeeze in front and ask “how is my nub doing? Still all locked up?” Or I might just say “being a keyholder is fun.” Or “Aren’t you lucky to have such a fabulous keyholder?” I’ve noticed that the more out-of-the-blue the comment is the bigger the impact it has on him. If he’s not really thinking about sex or expecting me to be thinking about it, mentioning his chastity jolts his libido into high gear.                                           

Take possession of his (your!) nub. Get in the habit of referring to his cock and balls as yours. Kiss him and ask “how is my nub doing down there?” Or while sitting on the couch fast forwarding through a commercial with your Tivo, casually ask him “Are you taking good care of my nub darling? One of these days I’m sure I’ll want to play with it.” If you get in this habit, then just a few words here and there add to his excitement and keep him happy and horny.                                           

Turn routine requests into chastity play - for example talk about it in terms of ‘points’ . Instead of asking him to pick up a gallon of milk on his way home, text him “Your keyholder wants to you pick up a gallon of milk on the way home.” Or say “a neck rub would earn you some much needed nub points.” Creating the fantasy that you are holding his release hostage to your whims is pretty powerful. Keep it fantasy and don’t abuse it (very much). Back rubs and foot rubs are nice even when I don’t feel very amorous, but they’re still physical things and he really likes it when I tie them to his chastity.                                           

Take chastity seriously. Don’t leave the key laying around or act like it’s no big deal if he gets out before you’re ready to release him. Do surprise “inspections” to make sure he’s still locked up. Ask him if he’s tried to get out, or tried to get at the key without permission. Use a no-nonsense manner to let him know it’s important to you that he only get out of his chastity device when you want him out. Every once in a while mention you’d someday like to get a more secure device. That keeps him from starting to doubt your commitment to the game when you haven’t seriously teased him for a while. Remember that’s he’s committed 24/7. The whole idea is he can’t check out of the game until you let him, so reminding him that you’re still in it helps.   

Muse about the length of his lockup. Sometimes I’ll tell him that I’ve decided to let him out the next weekend, then the next night tell him I’ve changed my mind and I don’t know when I’ll let him out. Sometimes I’ll tell him I’ve been wondering how long I should leave him locked up and just leave it at that. Tell him how you are noticing the benefits. No further information, just that I was thinking about it. I’ll ask him if he thinks he could go six months, or a year. If he asks if I’m planning to keep him locked up that long, I’ll just shrug and say “maybe.” It’s another verbal tease that takes very little energy from me but amps him up.                                           

None of those things take much time or energy from me. They’re easy to do on days when I’m stressed or tired or just not feeling very sexual. And they keep him feeling loved and cared for. I’ve really gotten into the habit of doing them. So much that I usually keep doing them even when he isn’t locked up. That’s not really a problem, but if he wakes up to my hand on his balls and he’s not locked up, I’m not getting out of bed without finishing what I started! Of course that just makes his lockups even more delightful for both of us.                                           

More Teasing Ideas                                           

The big changes that you must make in yourself to make a chastity relationship work is to commit to frequently teasing him, like you no doubt did when you first dated, and to having much more frequent sex yourself.                                           

Teasing does not need to be a time-consuming activity.  There are almost an infinite number of ways that you can tease him, both  physically and verbally. Every woman needs to develop her own style.  You can keep things fresh by continuing to experiment. It may seem like a  lot of work sometimes, but he will shower you with attention. The  hardest thing will be getting that much attention again.                                           

There are some basic teasing ideas in the 101 article above. Find more low maintenance examples for how you can tease him here:                                           

Be physical, give him lots of kisses and hugs throughout the day. Grab his crotch.                                           

Ask him to give you a full-body massage.                                          

You can wear sexy clothes around him, for example miniskirts, yoga  pants or whatever clothes he really likes. When you’re home you can walk  around just in your underwear – I promise you he won’t be able to take  his eyes off you!                                           

Conversation takes very little energy and allows you to increase his  arousal without having to do anything. Telling him what you like about  his predicament, letting him know how much you appreciate what he has  done to become a better spouse, partner, friend, and lover. Let him know  how his being chaste turns you on, if seeing him struggle to get erect  entertains you let him know. Maybe you find his penis cuter when it’s  all small and locked, or you enjoy his not being able to touch himself,  whatever it is communicate it. You should also not forget that all  those things that used to drive you crazy like porn and ogling young  girls can now be used against him. There is nothing like knowing that  the chastity tube is really biting as his favourite eye candy passes by.  The beauty of a good chastity device is that not only does it prevent  him from getting an erection and masturbating but that the device is  always working for you, and you should let him know how happy it makes  you.                                           

You can tease him about his lock-up time, for example you could say  things such as “it’s so hot that you can’t touch your penis, I don’t  think I will ever let you masturbate again”, “your penis looks so sexy  when it’s locked, I think I’ll keep it like that for a bit longer”,  “these balls don’t look full enough yet, let’s wait a bit more” – and  then when you finally let him ejaculate you can follow up with “oh not  much came out, I think next time you need to wait longer”. Remind him  that he’d better be good if he wants to be unlocked.                                          

Play around with his locked genitals whenever you get the chance.  For example, when he sits next to you, simply squeeze or slap his  balls. When locked, he will want his balls 'slapped’, not'stroked’. Use a flat hand and start slowly, building up intensity. Even better, use a bonger (massage ball with handle) or riding crop. Tell him at the start you want to reach 100. This is great teasing play because it takes a couple of minutes max and then you can say goodnight!                                          

Or you could give him a very frustrating “blowjob” with the  chastity device still attached – teasing him orally while locked will  drive him crazy like nothing else.                                           

Pinch / twist his nipples. Men’s nipples are almost 5x more sensitive than female nipples. With his cock locked, his nipples will heighten in sensitivity further. You may have even noticed they stiffen or harden more quickly or for longer than usual. Play with them by using nipple clamps, clothespins or even just by pinching and squeezing. Be careful, some locked males have been known to cum from just nipple play alone!                                           

Give a man an orgasm and he’ll forget it in a moment – deny him the  same orgasm and he’ll never stop thinking about it. You can unlock him  and allow him to masturbate or give him a handjob – however, at any  point (especially effective just before he is about to finish), you can  “change your mind”. Kindly tell him “let’s save it for later” or “that’s  all for now”. You may find that you have to ice down his penis to get  back in the tube!                                          

Tell him to go down on you while he is locked in his chastity  device. 

Teasing in T&D or Chastity Play!

A girl doesn’t feel like playing all the time and chastity gets sort of ruined if you let him out every time you don’t feel very frisky. On the other side of the spectrum, simply ignoring him while in chastity is actually the most cruel, effective punishment for a locked man who is not behaving or who is constantly breaking your rules.                                           

So what do you do to get through the dead spots (for me it’s mostly if I’m really tired, stressed or busy) without being neglectful? After three or so years of playing this game with my wonderful husband, I’ve observed the following about the two of us and extrapolated it to apply to everyone since everyone else is exactly like us, I’m sure.                                           

Part of the magic of chastity play is that the male, who usually has the higher sex drive, is “playing” 24/7. He’s eating, sleeping, going to work, everything really with his penis locked up. Any stray sexual thought quickly reminds him about the game he’s playing. His keyholder probably has a lower libido but that’s okay because she just has to give him the occasional nudge to keep him at a full simmer. A little bit of attention on the days when you just don’t feel very playful will keep him happy and from feeling neglected until you’re a little more enthusiastic and ready to turn the heat up to a full boil.

Here are some of my tips for low maintenance chastity play. I try to make sure I do some combination of these every day when the nub is locked up. They take hardly any time, and I know they make him feel loved. They’re little things that get magnified in his mind by the cage.                                           

Fondle his balls every day. Ideally once in the morning and once at night. No matter how busy or tired I am, I can always find two minutes in bed to do this. I don’t even have to remove the CB. Our sleep schedules are a little different. He’s a night owl and I’m a morning person, but that doesn’t stop us. When I’m going to bed I just whisper in his ear that I want to see him in the bedroom. He never says no! I fondle his poor trapped balls for a few minutes (two to five is plenty) and then say good night. He can go back to his computer after that. If I feel like kissing a bit, I can do that, but if I don’t I just tell him to lie there and keep still while I “play with my nub” I wake up before he does in the mornings too. But he never seems to mind if I wake him up by playing with his balls! Again, just a few minutes. Enough to get a groan or two out of him and then I go take my shower or get my breakfast.                                           

Remind him of his situation. Of course he already knows he’s locked up and you have the key, but reminding him lets him know you’re thinking about him. You haven’t forgotten about him, you’re just waiting for the right time to make use of him. I’ll walk by him in the kitchen, give him a quick squeeze in front and ask “how is my nub doing? Still all locked up?” Or I might just say “being a keyholder is fun.” Or “Aren’t you lucky to have such a fabulous keyholder?” I’ve noticed that the more out-of-the-blue the comment is the bigger the impact it has on him. If he’s not really thinking about sex or expecting me to be thinking about it, mentioning his chastity jolts his libido into high gear.                                           

Take possession of his (your!) nub. Get in the habit of referring to his cock and balls as yours. Kiss him and ask “how is my nub doing down there?” Or while sitting on the couch fast forwarding through a commercial with your Tivo, casually ask him “Are you taking good care of my nub darling? One of these days I’m sure I’ll want to play with it.” If you get in this habit, then just a few words here and there add to his excitement and keep him happy and horny.                                           

Turn routine requests into chastity play - for example talk about it in terms of ‘points’ . Instead of asking him to pick up a gallon of milk on his way home, text him “Your keyholder wants to you pick up a gallon of milk on the way home.” Or say “a neck rub would earn you some much needed nub points.” Creating the fantasy that you are holding his release hostage to your whims is pretty powerful. Keep it fantasy and don’t abuse it (very much). Back rubs and foot rubs are nice even when I don’t feel very amorous, but they’re still physical things and he really likes it when I tie them to his chastity.                                           

Take chastity seriously. Don’t leave the key laying around or act like it’s no big deal if he gets out before you’re ready to release him. Do surprise “inspections” to make sure he’s still locked up. Ask him if he’s tried to get out, or tried to get at the key without permission. Use a no-nonsense manner to let him know it’s important to you that he only get out of his chastity device when you want him out. Every once in a while mention you’d someday like to get a more secure device. That keeps him from starting to doubt your commitment to the game when you haven’t seriously teased him for a while. Remember that’s he’s committed 24/7. The whole idea is he can’t check out of the game until you let him, so reminding him that you’re still in it helps.   

Muse about the length of his lockup. Sometimes I’ll tell him that I’ve decided to let him out the next weekend, then the next night tell him I’ve changed my mind and I don’t know when I’ll let him out. Sometimes I’ll tell him I’ve been wondering how long I should leave him locked up and just leave it at that. Tell him how you are noticing the benefits. No further information, just that I was thinking about it. I’ll ask him if he thinks he could go six months, or a year. If he asks if I’m planning to keep him locked up that long, I’ll just shrug and say “maybe.” It’s another verbal tease that takes very little energy from me but amps him up.                                           

None of those things take much time or energy from me. They’re easy to do on days when I’m stressed or tired or just not feeling very sexual. And they keep him feeling loved and cared for. I’ve really gotten into the habit of doing them. So much that I usually keep doing them even when he isn’t locked up. That’s not really a problem, but if he wakes up to my hand on his balls and he’s not locked up, I’m not getting out of bed without finishing what I started! Of course that just makes his lockups even more delightful for both of us.                                           

More Teasing Ideas                                           

The big changes that you must make in yourself to make a chastity relationship work is to commit to frequently teasing him, like you no doubt did when you first dated, and to having much more frequent sex yourself.                                           

Teasing does not need to be a time-consuming activity.  There are almost an infinite number of ways that you can tease him, both  physically and verbally. Every woman needs to develop her own style.  You can keep things fresh by continuing to experiment. It may seem like a  lot of work sometimes, but he will shower you with attention. The  hardest thing will be getting that much attention again.                                           

There are some basic teasing ideas in the 101 article above. Find more low maintenance examples for how you can tease him here:                                           

Be physical, give him lots of kisses and hugs throughout the day. Grab his crotch.                                           

Ask him to give you a full-body massage.                                          

You can wear sexy clothes around him, for example miniskirts, yoga  pants or whatever clothes he really likes. When you’re home you can walk  around just in your underwear – I promise you he won’t be able to take  his eyes off you!                                           

Conversation takes very little energy and allows you to increase his  arousal without having to do anything. Telling him what you like about  his predicament, letting him know how much you appreciate what he has  done to become a better spouse, partner, friend, and lover. Let him know  how his being chaste turns you on, if seeing him struggle to get erect  entertains you let him know. Maybe you find his penis cuter when it’s  all small and locked, or you enjoy his not being able to touch himself,  whatever it is communicate it. You should also not forget that all  those things that used to drive you crazy like porn and ogling young  girls can now be used against him. There is nothing like knowing that  the chastity tube is really biting as his favourite eye candy passes by.  The beauty of a good chastity device is that not only does it prevent  him from getting an erection and masturbating but that the device is  always working for you, and you should let him know how happy it makes  you.                                           

You can tease him about his lock-up time, for example you could say  things such as “it’s so hot that you can’t touch your penis, I don’t  think I will ever let you masturbate again”, “your penis looks so sexy  when it’s locked, I think I’ll keep it like that for a bit longer”,  “these balls don’t look full enough yet, let’s wait a bit more” – and  then when you finally let him ejaculate you can follow up with “oh not  much came out, I think next time you need to wait longer”. Remind him  that he’d better be good if he wants to be unlocked.                                          

Play around with his locked genitals whenever you get the chance.  For example, when he sits next to you, simply squeeze or slap his  balls. When locked, he will want his balls ‘slapped’, not'stroked’. Use a flat hand and start slowly, building up intensity. Even better, use a bonger (massage ball with handle) or riding crop. Tell him at the start you want to reach 100. This is great teasing play because it takes a couple of minutes max and then you can say goodnight!                                          

Or you could give him a very frustrating “blowjob” with the  chastity device still attached – teasing him orally while locked will  drive him crazy like nothing else.                                           

Pinch / twist his nipples. Men’s nipples are almost 5x more sensitive than female nipples. With his cock locked, his nipples will heighten in sensitivity further. You may have even noticed they stiffen or harden more quickly or for longer than usual. Play with them by using nipple clamps, clothespins or even just by pinching and squeezing. Be careful, some locked males have been known to cum from just nipple play alone!                                           

Give a man an orgasm and he’ll forget it in a moment – deny him the  same orgasm and he’ll never stop thinking about it. You can unlock him  and allow him to masturbate or give him a handjob – however, at any  point (especially effective just before he is about to finish), you can  “change your mind”. Kindly tell him “let’s save it for later” or “that’s  all for now”. You may find that you have to ice down his penis to get  back in the tube!                                          

Tell him to go down on you while he is locked in his chastity  device. 

I edge my husband because...

(A great list, even though not written by me) I edge my husband because:

It’s what his body wants, whether his mind knows it or not

It’s more pleasurable for him to be edged and denied than for him to cum – simple biology

I can do this every day, and he’ll stay aroused and excited every time

He makes the sexiest noises when I edge him

I love watching his mind go numb with pleasure

He gets so stiff and hard for me, I can’t resist touching it, and I want him to stay that way as long as possible

He stays in a hypersexual state, always eager to pleasure me any way I want

It arouses me to see him lost in bliss

Edging him is so easy, and it gets easier every day I do it

I want him to be happy, and he’s obviously happy when he’s on the edge

I love that he trusts me with his most intimate, natural reflex, so I trigger it as often as possible (or almost-trigger it!)

He fucks me so hard after I edge him for a few days – he’s like an animal, I fucking love it!

He thinks of me all day and texts me the sweetest things

He works hard, doesn’t get enough respect, and deserves to “zone out” for a while in my hands or mouth

It makes him dream about me, so I’m part of literally every moment of his life

And more, and more… Source: http://healthysexymarriage.tumblr.com

"If you are not a good tease, you are not a good keyholder."

The Importance of Tease and Denial in Male Chastity

Your man has expressed his desire to be a submissive male and you to take up a dominant role in the relationship. He told you about chastity cage and you have locked his cock because it is going to make him more attentive, submissive and obedient man, right?

Wrong!

Chastity can surely spice up things and re-ignite the spark between a couple. It is like a dirty little secret between you guys, so it really does excite up the things. However, if you are having some kind of relationship issues, communication issues, intimacy problems or sexual disconnection and you believe chastity is going to fix up those things, then you are ABSOLUTELY WRONG.

I believe chastity magnifies things.

If there are problems in your relationship, it can magnify them.

If you have a good sexual relationship and emotional intimacy, it can magnify it.

It is just like a tool that helps you on the path of building a Female Led Relationship. It is surely not the core of your relationship but a tool to help you shape up your relationship.

What is Tease and Denial

Tease and Denial (T&D) refers to teasing, sexually arousing and being naughty with your man without giving him any kind of sexual release. You absolutely arouse him and make him hard but withhold him from releasing his sexual tension. It does not mean that you are also deprived of sex. You can get oral sex from him, or probably a good pussy massage, or even PIV. Simply tell him to stop whenever he is getting close during PIV because you want to keep him denied.

I hope you get the idea of what T&D is.

Why is T&D Important in Chastity?

This is the most important thing I want to highlight in this article.

Chastity is not just physical for men. It has a very strong emotional aspect as well. Since your man is in 24/7 contact with the cage, he might feel submissive and controlled much more than you are feeling dominant. He has surrendered his most intimate part to you. He definitely does not want to feel that you are taking this lightly.

In my opinion, Tease and Denial serves as a constant reminder that you acknowledge his efforts. T&D makes him feel loved and supported. Chastity can feel very lonely for him if you just lock him up and then never talk about it or forget about it. T&D makes him feel accompanied in this chastity journey.

He should feel that you are taking male chastity seriously. For example, you should not keep the key lying around in the house. It will give an impression that you either do not care about the key getting lost or you are indifferent towards him unlocking himself. Teasing him and constantly reminding him that he is denied from any orgasm helps him to get into the right mindset for being locked in the chastity cage.

WHY T&D?

Some women are born naughty and kinky while other struggle to get into the role. You might be thinking chastity is bad idea because T&D sounds like too much work. You might also probably wonder that FLR is supposed to be all about you and it should make your life easier so why do you have to make extra efforts, right?

While FLR should make your life easier, T&D can be thought of as a small investment you make each day for a bigger returns on daily basis. Think about it, 2 minutes of T&D can easily motivate him to clean the house, do the dishes, wash the clothes etc. On second thoughts, T&D also adds in a fun factor to your relationship. Female Led Relationship should make your lives better, happier and more satisfied. Tease and Denial is just one more activity to exert your dominance, make him more submissive and keep the fun alive in your relationship. And Yes, it keeps him sexually frustrated.

How to T&D ?

I promise T&D is not too much work. Actually, it is no work at all. T&D could be as simple as grabbing his balls, or whispering something naughty in his ears, or asking him to send you a pic of his locked cock.

Teasing can range from a 1 second glimpse of your Goddess like body and sexual parts to 10  seconds long whispers to 15-20 minutes long edging sessions.

Edging refers to bringing him near orgasm and then completely remove any kind of stimulation. Once he gets a bit relaxed, you again bring him near orgasm and keep on repeating this process.

The whole point of T&D is to tell him that you are enjoying while he’s locked up. Here are a few examples of what T&D can look like :

Fondle with his balls for a minute or two every morning or night ( or both ).

Ask him if chastity is causing too much frustration and tell him that you are enjoying it.

Show him the key and then keep it in your pocket.

Constantly let his tongue caress what his cock is denied.

Play naughty chastity games with him like rolling a die to decide his release. Since you are the leader, ultimate decision is in your hands.

Send him some naughty pics of yours and tell him that you own him.

Kiss him passionately and then hold his locked cock and say, “Oops, I wish we could have sex but I prefer it locked.”

Tell him to stop right before he is about to cum during sex and then lock him up once he gets limp.

Occasionally refer yourself as his keyholder – “Your keyholder wants you to get groceries from the market”. See, how easily you changed a vanilla task into a little tease by simply playing with words.

The whole point is to show him that he is not alone in the game. You are as interested as he is. I strongly believe in –

“If you are not a good tease, you are not a good keyholder.”

Benefits of T&D

Increased arousal and desire: By prolonging the sexual anticipation and desire, T&D can intensify the pleasure and satisfaction for men when they are finally allowed to orgasm.

Heightened emotional connection: T&D allows to express our vulnerabilities in front of our partner. Men tell their deepest and most intimate secrets to their Mistress. They also expect her to use these vulnerabilities during T&D. I will write an article on vulnerabilities in near future.

Power dynamics: T&D not only makes FLR more fun, it complements chastity. It makes the male partner more submissive, obedient, and devoted while arouses feelings of control, responsibility, and trustworthiness in the dominant partner.

Enhanced communication: T&D requires a high level of communication and negotiation between partners. Engaging in T&D can help a couple improve their communication skills and build a stronger emotional connection.

Improved relationship satisfaction: When T&D is done consensually and with trust and communication, it can lead to increased satisfaction and happiness in the relationship

Conclusion

In conclusion, I would just say that chastity is much deeper than it really seems. It is not just a piece of plastic or steel that will fix your relationship, it requires work. Your submissive will feel much more than just a physical restraint on his penis. He will go into deeper thoughts quite frequently about the things that have changed in his life. He needs to be reminded that he is not alone. He needs to reminded that his fantasies are getting fulfilled.

T&D will amplify your dominance and keep his mindset in a good submissive space.

Keep Dominating.

Why do men want to get locked in Chastity Cage??

This is a question that is asked again and again….. and yet again on social media, blogs, forums and anywhere else you can think of. Women have a difficult time understanding why would their men want to get their d*cks locked in a cage.

In an obvious world, it would make sense if the Dom is telling her sub to lock his cock in a cage but the world is not so ideal, is it? In most cases, men are the ones who initiate the concept of chastity cage in their relationships.

There is definitely more depth than just kink-driven behaviour.

Let’s try to comprehend it through basics. An FLR is more than just a kink play. It is a female-centric relationship where the woman takes on a leadership role and the man takes on a submissive role. It is more about fulfilling the psychological desires of submission for a man than fulfilling his physical desires.I will repeat :,

“It is more about fulfilling the PSYCHOLOGICAL desires of submission for a man than fulfilling his PHYSICAL desires.”

Think about it and understand it as deeply as possible. Men crave domination from their Mistress and want to feel submissive. Sometimes, they might even act against their submissive role because they want to be told that they are the submissive in the relationship and you are the Boss and they should behave as per your expectations! It is because your dominance turns them on.

I once read somewhere that Men love orgasms but they crave denial. It cannot be put in simpler words. They crave denial because they know that it will make you feel more dominant. It will make you happier. We all know a true submissive puts their Dom’s happiness above their own.

When you lock his cock in the cage, he gets this feeling of offering his most intimate body part to you. This euphoric feeling feels like the ultimate present they can gift to you. No one has more right to him than you. No one has more authority on him than you. He has never been so open and honest to anyone but you.

The world is busy masturbating to porn and not keeping their partners fulfilled whereas here’s a man who has surrendered his orgasms and sexual pleasure to his Goddess. The key to the cage is much more than just a piece of stainless steel to him. It signifies his devotion and commitment towards being your submissive.

A controlling woman is sexy in herself and chastity just materializes that feeling of control even further. He feels that his penis belongs to you and it should be used only when YOU want it. He should have no right on his penis once you have held its keys. This feeling in turn makes them even more submissive.

A couple often struggles to adapt to the cage. There is a shift in their normal sex routine. Chastity does not simply gets implemented overnight but takes time to adapt to. You cannot expect everything to work perfectly from the moment the lock clicks. There will be ups and downs. You might even fall back to the normal routine after some time before you again implement chastity cage.

But he perceives this phase as a religious journey towards total devotion to their Goddess.

Keep Dominating.

8 years ago my husband told me he wanted to try chastity. I thought ‘that’s a little weird” but it also turned me on a bit. Once I got over my hang ups, I learned I loved locking him up! Why?

1) more frequent orgasms - every weekday morning after the gym and a shower, I have my husband give me an orgasm using his mouth, hand or vibrator. This has really kept me motivated going to the gym and that’s just my morning workday routine!

2) a faux dick - my husband has a strap on to wear when I’m in the mood to get fucked but I’m not ready to unlock him. The desperate effort he puts into those hips when he fucks me while caged is intense & the orgasms are unreal! One tip for the strap on, put the dildo in hot water first to get it to around 98.7 degrees for a more natural feel.

3) sex - when I unlock him and we make love he knows that he cannot cum before I do. Our love making is passionate and raw. After I orgasm, he will ask me if he can cum when he’s close. If he’s been really good, I’ll let him. Other times I’ll say ‘no’ and tell him to go lock back up. It’s so sexy to have him melting in my hands and lusting with desire for me after I deny him an orgasm.

4) handjobs - I love to unlock him and blindfold him so he’s not looking at me. I’ll grab the oil and rub his dick. I start slow with gentle strokes then move to faster, firmer strokes. I love listening to his breathing and watching his body moving with pleasure. I also love how hard his cock feels as I’m stroking him. When he tells me he is getting close, I remove my hands and let that feeling of about to cum go away. Then I’ll start again to bring him to the edge 2 or 3 more times. Many times I will stop before he cums and snuggle up to him, laying on his chest, listening to his breathing become less heavy and watching his erection go away. Then I’ll tell him to go lock up. The sexual power of doing this without an ejaculation keeps his hands all over me for days and days. I love that sexual control over him.

5) Rules - a popular question I have been asked on my Tumblr deleted account is if guys are allowed to ask be unlocked or to ask to cum? Some wives will say, ‘no’ they can’t ask and will extend the time to be locked. Others will say ‘yes’ because they want to hear him beg and they may or not release him. The rules should be clear. My husband has only asked to be released 2 times. Both went like this. Him: can you unlock me? It’s been so long. Me: [sad face] No. Sorry. [smirk] But now you’ll be locked up for 2 more weeks for asking.” I think I made myself clear - I decide. Another rule for my hubby is that he has to go to the gym at least 4 days a week for me to consider unlocking him, otherwise I will add more time. He’s lost just over 10 pounds and his starter 6-pack abs really contrast with his steel cage! Make sure he knows your rules and expectations either by your words or actions.

6) don’t let it get stale (teasing & denial) - if you have your man caged, you already love being in control. Do you know the most effective way to fuck with a man after locking him up? A constant effort to make his dick hard in the cage. That means teasing and it melts their f-ing minds! Wear revealing things. Brush your ass against his cage when you walk by. Tell him things you would do to him if he wasn’t locked. Grab his cage and tease him that his dick can’t get hard. The more you tease, the more rewards you get in the form of attention!

7) blurred edges - Do you have some chores that need to be done? Are there some habits you’d like for him to break? Is there a kink that you want to try out? You would be very surprised at what your husband is willing to do for you once he’s been locked up for a while, you just need to ask or tell!!