When You First Start To Consider That You Might Be Bisexual, A Whole New World Of Possibilities Suddenly

When you first start to consider that you might be bisexual, a whole new world of possibilities suddenly opens up. Essentially, your personal dating pool just doubled in size at a time when you’re still trying to figure out your own identity. It can be a lot. Here’s how to explore your bisexuality without getting overwhelmed.

Feel out what this means for you, however you want

There’s a big misconception that goes along with coming out, so let’s dispel it right away: You don’t have to immediately start getting physical with people to prove to yourself or others that you “really” are bi.

Haley Jakobson, a writer based in Brooklyn, explained that there is a lot of pressure on newly-out people to “prove” their sexuality, but that pressure is unfairly and unequally applied to the LGBTQ+ community. She pointed out that it would be bizarre for an adult to tell a child they couldn’t possibly know they were straight until they kissed a classmate of the opposite gender, so it should be seen as equally inappropriate to say something like that to a newly-out bisexual adult.

Kissing and physical touch may not even be your primary objective in this journey, either, and that’s totally fine. Jakobson pointed out that engaging in community could be a priority that outweighs intimacy and suggested going to queer bars, posting on LGBTQ+ community-based apps and forums, and listening to podcasts and reading books about sexuality.

“These are all things you can do without actually, you know, smooching someone,” she said. “I think that when we say ‘explore sexuality,’ we kind of immediately think of getting intimate or fucking someone, and I think that’s not great because that’s a lot of pressure.”

She added that there is “trial and error” involved in finding compatibility and chemistry with anyone. Don’t rush into that. There is no right or wrong way to explore. Go as slowly as you need or want to. Spend some time messaging back and forth on a dating app. Flirt at a queer bookstore or club.

Be patient with yourself

Once someone begins identifying as bisexual, Jakobson said, there are plenty of potential issues to contend with. There can be feelings of imposter syndrome, internalized biphobia, and patriarchal expectations of what a bisexual person even is to deal with, she said.

There are stereotypes and stigmas associated with bisexual people, too, and that sort of external force can really wear you down. Bisexual people can be seen as promiscuous, unable to “just choose” a side, or interested in leading people on. It’s not wholly on you to shatter these misconceptions, so remember to do what is best for yourself and not shoulder the weight of society’s incorrect takes. There are people doing great work in the space—writing like Jakobson, or podcasting or posting or advocating in myriad ways for the community—but you don’t have to do that if you aren’t yet comfortable. Work on your own journey day by day.

Instead of focusing on any negativity, embrace the good and fun parts of your queerness, Jakobson said. She noted that she thinks about herself and her sexuality through a joyful frame: “I’m so valid and I’m hot and cool and sexy and just this endless container for love and that deserves to be celebrated.”

You’re not alone, so find your community

No matter how old you are, where you live, or what culture you were raised in, coming out can be a little hard—and acting on your newly-confirmed identity can be hard, too.

Jakobson recommended talking to other LGBTQ+ people online, finding a queer-friendly therapist, and “coming out to people who are just going to be absolutely overjoyed for you.”

“In the coming-out journey we can easily focus on the people who won’t get it but go first to the people who will feel so honored that you are able to express your identity to them,” she said, adding you should “lean into the joy or just kind of deal with the hardship as it comes.”

You can take small steps to feel more involved in the community, go at your own pace, and make friends as you do it all. Remember that you’re worthy of love, respect, and a welcoming attitude.

Sometimes, no matter how many how-to guides you read, this will be overwhelming, but with a little grounding and a group of supportive friends around you, you’ll be fine.

“I choose everyday to lean into the parts of my queerness that are just fun and light and easy,” said Jakobson, “and because I do that, I’m able to hold the parts that are overwhelming.”

Why The Titties Cannot Come Back Until FOSTA-SESTA Goes Away

It's the reason for the porn ban across the internet, it's the reason Net Neutrality is gone, and it has, as the sex worker community tried to tell us, harmed sex workers and doesn't help trafficking go away at all--particularly because of the vague wording and broad definitions, all it really does is ban porn, harrass the queer community, and censor all talk about sexuality into silence--and silence does not make safety. There is now a study about its effects, and sex workers weren't consulted or listened to about its flaws.

If you want the internet to stop censoring queer content, FOSTA-SESTA has to go.

If you want tumblr and other websites to have porn again, FOSTA-SESTA has to go.

If you want algospeak to stop being the norm, FOSTA-SESTA HAS TO GO.

There is NOTHING that tumblr staff can do without this law being gone.

There is NOTHING that any moderator, website, or app can do without Net Neutrality being reinstated and iron-clad again.

Did you all forget what caused the porn ban in the first place? It was not a random decision every company made overnight.

It was FOSTA-SESTA.

Freedom of speech is called Net Neutrality online, and until 2018, Net Neutrality was sacrosanct.

We must have Net Neutrality back if we are to have the freedom to speak online.

If you are queer, you must fight for Net Neutrality. If you have opinions about anything, you must fight for your right to say them. FOSTA-SESTA TOOK THAT FROM YOU. TOOK IT FROM US ALL.

If you want things to change, don't whine to staff on tumblr, don't boycott Tiktok.

you must get political. you must organise to remove FOSTA-SESTA from the books. You must clamour, and holler, and write your politicians and raise up the voices of sex workers and VOTE to protect your free speech.

Pornography and sex work are inextricable from freedom of speech. The right of pornography and sex work to exist is inextricable from the rights of queer folks. If you do not fight to protect your right to 'dirty books' and uphold 'rule 34' they will come after YOU next. They already are coming after queers just like they always do when a ban on porn is involved! It will escalate until it comes after EVERYONE.

I cannot emphasise enough that all this censorship increasing since 2018 is connected to the porn ban. It is the same oppressive and harmful legislation causing it.

GET RID OF FOSTA-SESTA.

It is harming sex workers, even killing them.

It is harming trafficking victims.

It is harming all of us, queer and straight, adults and children, it is harming everybody by taking away our freedom of speech.

Get rid of it.

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crunchywater17

5 months ago

archiveofourown.org

Hiraeth - Chapter 1 - BeautifulFiction - Merlin (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

✨COMPLETE✨

A hand grasped his arm, sending a brief thrill down Merlin's nerves as he was forced around to face the person behind him. Armour gleamed in the firelight: supple chainmail glinted, and the solid iron of a pauldron curved lovingly over one broad shoulder. The length of a sword blade separated them. The point hovered, steady and sure, over Merlin's heart, braced to run him through, but he did not care about any of that. He was too busy drinking in the sight of the man before him. He could never forget him, no matter how many centuries had passed. 'Arthur?' When Merlin ultimately fails in his destiny, the fading remnants of magic that linger in the modern world fling him not just back in time, but sideways as well. He ends up in a Camelot where all his friends are alive, well and aware of his magic. He ends up in a Camelot where his alternate self died almost a year ago. Can he, Arthur and their friends still forge the golden age he was once promised, or will grief and suspicion tear them apart?

It's finally done. I just posted the hundredth, and final, chapter on AO3. A huge thank you to everyone who has joined me on this ride. I'm delighted to have been part of your lives in some small way. 💖

If you enjoyed this fic, I'd love a reblog to help spread awareness that it's finally done 🙏

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crunchywater17

3 years ago

some of you may've heard about that fancy "bionic reading" typefont thats supposed to be easier for neurodivergent people to read (if you're unfamiliar, it bolds the first few letters of each word to make it easier to follow)

well guess what, its locked behind a $500 a month API to write in because fuck you!

introducing, Not Bionic Reading! it is literally just the bionic reading typefont but for free. god bless neocities

not-br.neocities.org

Not BR

Tech bros are on another world just make a framework like the rest of us.

anyone who can, pls reblog!

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crunchywater17

3 years ago

Literally the witch in Hansel and Gretel cared more about kids.

At least she was feeding them.

7K notes View Post

crunchywater17

2 years ago

"don't ship—" i will just be doing whatever the fuck i want actually

89K notes View Post

crunchywater17

2 years ago

Tons more at the source!

160K notes View Post

crunchywater17

3 years ago

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone of any nationality and ethnicity.

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone in the LGBTQ+ community.

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone with a disability or disorder.

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone who has experienced or is experiencing trauma.

Reblog if your page is a safe space.

55K notes View Post

crunchywater17

3 years ago

(via h500151nh4e81.png (828×513))

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crunchywater17

3 years ago

The stories coming out about the absolutely useless cops that were at the scene of the shooting is proof that those billions of dollars given to the police are to protect themselves and not the people. They want to be deemed heroes, but are disgusting cowards who shit their pants when confronted with the task of doing exactly what they signed up for. So cop lovers save me the “not all cops are the same” rhetoric because when you see how cops turned their cowardly backs on the hopeless children who were being murdered inside their classrooms and handcuffed parents who were desperately trying to save their children we saw first hand that they don’t value human life.

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