Heyoo, My Batfam And Bart Connoisseurs!

inaccurate Batfam quotes #10

Dick: Last night was a mistake and we must agree to never speak of it ever again.

Tim: Okay.

Jason: What happened last night?

Dick: No.

Tim: ...

Dick: Tim... Don't.

Tim: But...

Dick: Tim...

Tim: ...I saw Dick at the men's club.

Jason: Okay?

Tim: He was on the pole.

Jason: oh.

Dick: If you wake up glued to the ceiling, no one will help you.

Jason: I would help.

Dick: You'd join him.

Damian: I would laugh.

Dick: I know you would, Damian.

BART OWEN CONTENT YES YES YES FINALLY DAY FULFILLED

5th batch of ko-fi doodle comms; if you're interested, check the deets here!

[ID: 4 doodles drawn with a brush pen.

Simon Blackquill laughs.

Harry Wells holds a mug of coffee, posture relaxed.

Tim Drake wears Conner Kent's leather jacket; Kon nuzzles his cheek against Tim's head.

Owen Mercer and Bart Allen eat fast food at a table while talking.

End ID.]

The team suffered the wrath of Batman, but not his protege... Until now.

Dick Always seemed to keep his cool with any situation, which is why everyone was surprised that day they learned not to get on his bad side. He was tired from late night training, a fight with two-face and trying to keep his brothers from killing each other and was only running on one cup of coffee since that’s all he had time for before school. Not to mention he was called to the mountain immediately after the bell rang so he didn’t even have a moment to rest.

Back to the present, Artimus and Wally were at each other's throats and their leader wasn’t there to defuse the situation. Robin was in the executive chair in front of the dozen screens surrounding him, rubbing his temple as the shouting made his headache spike. M’gann felt his agony and wanted to go to him but was too caught up making sure Artimus didn’t get a hold of her arrows. Conner was on the other end, holding Wally back but the speedster was struggling so much he let out a frustrated growl. In other words, chaos had broken loose.

Dick’s ‘tough love’ persona came out as he slammed his fist on the surveillance desk making everything on it clatter. “Enough!” He screamed, catching everyone off guard. Wally stopped struggling, staring at his best friend wide-eyed, Conner was surprised but more so focused on his hold of the speedster. Artimus stopped struggling as well, even though M'gann’s telekinetic hold of her released as the martian let out a surprised gasp, widening her eyes as a surge of emotions hit her all at once from everyone. “That’s it, all of you. No wonder We aren’t given any important missions when you are too immature to act like a team! Whether you like it or not, that’s what we are. I don’t care if you aren’t happy about it or don’t want to be friends, fine. But it isn’t fair for all of us to suffer from your ineptitude.” Robin crossed his arms and gave a glare daring anyone to defy him.

Wally and Artimus glance at each other before looking away quickly, one with a scowl and the other in shame. “Pull yourselves together and find mutual ground or the title of ‘young justice league’ will be ripped away from us and we’ll be put back with our mentors as nothing but a sidekick to the public’s eyes. Which defeats the purpose of this team entirely. If you have a problem with that, you might as well leave.” Dick’s gaze hardened, even through his mask everyone could feel his icy gaze. M’gann shuttered, Artimus was scared as hell but covered it in a scowl, Conner found a newfound respect for the teammate he once thought never stuck up for themselves, and Wally was shaking with a blank stare. The ebony huffed, dropping his demeanor for a much more tired expression that they all had failed to notice earlier.

“Robin, buddy, maybe you should go lay down. When was the last time you slept?” Wally quickly forgot his fear and turned into the stoic best friend he’d always been with the other.

“I’m fine, Wally.” Dick shot him a look that spoke ‘touch me if you dare’. The ginger heard the message loud and clear before backing off. The protege of the bat heaved a sigh of frustration before taking his USB from the computer and leaving the team to talk things out without him.

“Robin has a point. We don’t act like a team.” M’gann whispered quietly, on the verge of tears at the thought of being taken away from her friends. Conner stepped to her side with a comforting arm over her shoulder.

“I hate to admit it but he’s right. We screw up on so many missions and for what— arguing with each other?” Artimus grumbled, arms crossed over her chest.

“What are we gonna do about it?” Wally said, being sure to keep his distance from the archer to not spring yet another argument.

Needless to say, Kaldur was pleasantly surprised on his return from Atlantis that his team were doing the bonding exercises he had suggested months ago but was shot down with disgust. He didn’t know what happened but those who were there for the events made a silent promise. Do not make Robin mad.

Blue Beetle: is anyone here good at lying?

Impluse: yeah I’ve been faking stuff this entire time

Blue Beetle: like what?

Impulse, realizing he can’t tell Jaime he’s faked his entire personality because that would require a whole lot of context:...being straight

Blue Beetle:...okay so Bart can’t lie, Robin you do it

Bart Allen is an edge lord, too.

Jason Todd is impulsive.

What more do you want from me?

Batman has a secret interrogation method specifically for Joker and Riddler and it’s called “Bart”. It’s super effective.

Crossover? Flashfam and Batfam

#Bruce meets his match

Bruce: *staring at Bart from across the interrogation table*

Bart: *Kicking his legs and staring back*

Bruce: So, Impulse-

Bart: No.

Bruce: No?

Bart: You were gonna question me. I say no.

Bruce: You didn't hear the question.

Bart: Okay, go ahead.

Bruce: So-

Bart: No.

Bruce: *disgruntled bat noises*

Bart: *staring with a blank expression*

~ two hours later ~

Bruce: *dangling Bart upside down from the ceiling*

Bart: And then I was all like, "No way, you can't do that. That's a no-no, even in my book", and then Tim was like "I-"

Bruce: Enough, please stop. Stop talking. Leave. I'm done.

Bart: *phases out of the ties* thanks. *walks out*

Diana, on the other side of the one sided glass: I've never seen him give up so quickly.

Hal: Kids' got spunk.

Clark: We should go before Bruce tries to vent on one of us.

Inaccurate FlashFam quotes #4

Bart in Reach: What if I became a superhero?

Bart: Jk jk...

Bart, also leading a revolt against the function: Unless?

inaccurate Batfam quotes #8

Tim, sighing exasparatingly: I don't know how to get a girls attention.

Jason: Ask Dick. He's gay and still a chick magnet.

Dick: Talking to some girls on the other side of the room

Tim: I can't even get a guys attention! How the hell does he do that?

Jason: I don't know. HEY DICK!

Dick, turns around and litteral sparkles apear around him: Yes?

Jason, confused and distressed: Nevermind. Yea, your screwed as long as he's in the picture.

Tim: Damn.

Jason, raising a gun: I know a way to get him out of the picture?

Tim: We are not going to kill Dick, hijack a garbage truck to feed his corpse to and move to LA, Jason.

Jason: sadly lowers gun

Just thinking about how Bart’s Generation is (Probably) Gen Delta. (It’s not even named yet).