Be Patient.

I like to think I’m a strong sailor, but even I can’t resist the siren’s song of the arts and crafts aisle in the Walmart

I feel like the beach showcases humanity at its finest. There are happy newlyweds taking pictures together. Elderly couples walk hand in hand and watch the sunset. Little kids bubble over with excitement when they see the water for the first time. Everyone is collecting shells. There is pure, uncontainable joy. A sense of peace hangs in the air along with the salt.

And then I look for too long and see the plastic bottle caps bobbing in the water and the beer cans littering the sand.

I hope I’m a better sister to you than she was to me. I love you so much it hurts. I think about you every day. You’re an ass, you can be a pain, and you can be unkind. But I would walk into fire for you. I would do anything to keep you safe. I wish I could do more for you.

I don’t know how you see me, but I’d rather be kind and uncertain, than never be kind at all.

Could a depressed person do this?

*shaves my legs for the first time since October*

I am a beast. I was born from other beasts, and I will die a beast. It’s in my nature, in my blood.

You are yours are creatures. Gentler hands, tender embraces. You took me into your nest, feeding me along with your own young. But it’s clear I will always be a beast. My paws dwarf yours. My movements are less graceful. My eyes carry something different. But you love me all the same. And I love you as my mother.

I am a beast, but I am your beast. Loyal to you and you alone.

Anything can be a UFO if you're bad at identifying flying objects

Thank you to everyone who participated in my study. For your troubles, I can offer you two Tylenol, and a piece of gum.

I know what you did.

You give me one of those terribly awkward side-hugs. You comment on my town, and how you'll have to come visit sometime. You are not welcome in my home. I smile and reply politely.

But our eyes don't lie. In yours I can see pity. "What ever happened to her?" "It's s shame, really. She used to be so sweet." Perhaps a hint of fear. You know that I know. You know that I remember.

In my gaze hangs only hatred.

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I still think about you, by the way.

How could I not? We grew up together. You can see in our cadence, in our mannerisms. We are permanently intertwined to an extent, whether we we'd like to be or not. You shaped me, and I shaped you.

My father still talks about you too. We were products of our environment. And it was not fair to us. I hope you know that. How they spoke to and about us affected us in ways intangible.

I hope you are well, wherever you may be. I think I will always love you, in my own way.