Needed To Add The Canon Height Difference

Imagine you’re some little evil woman sitting in Hades’ throne room when Orpheus walks in to make a deal to get Eurydice back, and Hades is like “yeah ok, just don’t look back otherwise she has to stay here” then walks out of the room. Almost immediately after hearing the conditions, Orpheus breaks his own neck so that it is physically impossible for him to turn it, and then demands that you gouge out his eyes for good measure. Eurydice then gets really upset because she’s convinced this is a sign that Orpheus hates her and never wants to see her again, and Orpheus is completely convinced that this was a normal and logical thing to do.

You are literally the only person in the universe who recognizes this as an act of love. They both then insult you to your face for thinking this is anything other than very normal (Orpheus), or petty hatred (Eurydice).

You are Ianthe Tridentarius.

after curfew

i like jegulus only in the context of: prongsfoot is well established and reg, whos been pining after james, is bitter that he yet again fell short to his perfect older brother

my user should be read as Cowboy III

like i am third in my family with the name “Cowboy”

i come from a line of “Cowboy”s

(in name only, not occupation)

"How can you say Sirius was best friend with Lily- he didn't even mention her!"

All I need to know is Lily's letter. Thank you.

gemmadevon reghabicobel gemmahelly devonreghabi these are literally all so big brained and severance is too homophobic and white dude brained to do any

lily, responding:

And I’ll only have to do that for sixty more years, but you, you will have to miss me forever. My bones won’t even be left to dig up, broken down to minerals, and you’ll still be missing me.

toxic vampire marlene to human lily after a break up:

you'll think of me every month, you will remember me every time. love, you won't even be able to bleed without thinking of me

"Sirius loved James the most and got jealous when James talked to another" I say into the microphone of a disgusted crowd.

The crowd boos and I sigh, walking off the stage with my shoulders slumped, preparing my will of leaving all my letters that say, "James was the one Sirius truly loved the most" to my cat named "Prongs". Suddenly, some bodyguard aurors come in, grabbing my arms, taking me somewhere. "This one is definitely the girl, time to take her to the white room with rats". My eyes widened in realisation. The- the room with rats. I screamed, high pitched and deafening, "Please, I-I beg, I have a wi-"

"She's right."

I look up, startled, I see a tall, beyond handsome man in perfectly tailored Gryffindor robes. Sirius Black. Black stood there, smirking like the smug git he was.

The crowd gasped as Sirius Orion bloody Black stood there, confirming the once believed to be impossible. The aurors let my arms go, confusion bestowed upon their faces.

I crawl on my knees at Sirius' feet like he was some type of Greek god, assuming this is what Sirius would do to the James both Sirius and I have mentioned before.

"Th-thank you, I can now peacefully return home to my wife and cats at home". The crowd gasped. I looked around with my tear-stricken face as the bodyguard aurors from before looked horrified like I just announced I was the next survivor of the killing curse. They looked in their notes, "Thi- this can't be true! It just can't be".

My confusion deepened as they pulled out new papers, "In her reports, it says she doesn't ship Wolfstar. Yet here she says she has a wife and cats at home, and she's a woman". I looked around, the crowed murmuring in confusion at my lesbianism.

"How's that possible?"

"A non-homophobic- no, a lesbian- saying they don't ship Wolfstar?

"She's bluffing"

"Perhaps we've all just been wrong this whole time and we've just never see-"

"Oh, silence, don't talk with that nonsense"

Some noises upon the stage brought my attention along with the crowds. Everyone saw that the smug prat Sirius Black had dragged the James Potter himself, wearing Sirius' leather jacket, holding him tightly, saying he'd let everyone die if it meant James would be safe. I swore I saw a dust of pink across the aloof Black's cheeks.

The bodyguards dropped the notes, their hands trembling.

The crowd all had different levels of astonishment, and I swear I saw someone faint. Beaming, I confidently say into the fallen microphone.

"SIRIUS LOVED JAMES THE MOST AND GOT JEALOUS WHEN JAMES TALKED TO ANOTHER"

james: does incest make people abnormally hot?

remus: i don't think so

regulus walking past:

james: yeah, you're right. sirius is an anomaly

Lawyer Sirius eviscerating his opponents with bullet-proof arguments and biting wit while looking supremely bored.

(James watching him with stars in his eyes like a love-sick puppy.)