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i hope a ceiling fan falls on the empty spot in the bed next to you and it starts understanding your needs

Posting all of the pills that make you green comics here now, enjoy? I guess?

regret rates

proof

talking points

you problem

owned

modern invention

unethical experiments

typology

think of the children

side effects

facts

making sense

rushing

drawings

research

this rocks

valid

🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵🐉

I might clean this up in the future, but for now, here’s my PSA

Whatever *sticks my dick in the gap between who you are and who you portray yourself as*

i hate seeing people drink the openai/chatgpt koolaid 😭😭😭 genuinely feels like watching someone get seduced by scientology or qanon or something. like girl help it's not intelligent it's Big Autocomplete it's crunching numbers it's not understanding things i fuckign promise you. like ohhh my god the marketing hype fuckign GOT you

svvshi

This is the story of how my friend Charlie ended up with a scar on his penis.

First, he was at a jazz club. Jazz clubs are not inherently dangerous. At the jazz club he saw a girl with pink hair wearing a top hat. Girls with pink hair who wear top hats are also not inherently dangerous. She was extremely cute so he approached her to flirt and she was into that.

She was so into it that she invited Charlie back to her home. Things became amorous and Charlie was delighted when things took a turn in a blowjobly direction. That is, until he felt teeth.

He looked down as she looked up and there was blood dripping down her chin. She was also laughing. Charlie, in a great deal of pain, bleeding from a part of himself that boys never expect to bleed from, pushed her away and rushed to the bathroom.

The girl was then horrified and extremely apologetic, and rushed to get him gauze and bandages. I suspect she might have had the same nervous reaction as the time I accidentally stabbed a boy. Charlie was in shock but reluctantly accepted her offerings before getting the fuck out of dodge.

For years we speculated about why she’d bitten him. Was she a vampire? Was she on drugs? It was part of Charlie’s Lore that he’d had his penis bitten and was understandably wary of mouths now.

We assumed we’d never have a resolution. Which is why we were all surprised one night to get a text from Charlie. There she was. At the same late night local burger chain. He could finally get the closure he’d always wanted.

The girl recognized him instantly and began to profusely apologize. She explained that she had since been diagnosed as schizophrenic and bipolar but at the time she’d been completely unmedicated. She had always felt wretched about what had happened that night and couldn’t apologize enough.

Charlie accepted her apology but declined her hesitant invitation to find a quieter venue to catch up. One scar was enough for him. We were all elated to finally have peace, and closure. The penis bite was made explicable and we were satisfied.

But that’s not all, Charlie told us. Were we ready for the punchline? We waited. The restaurant they’d met at again, years later. Didn’t we want to know which one? Where they could finally bury the hatchet over their penis misadventure?

Where??? Where was it?

“Dicks”, he told us.

they murdered the original version of this post but here, i cloned it so we can all still enjoy it