Has Your Name Every Appeared In The Credits Of A Book, Or Is It Likely To In The Near Future? Then You

Yay, unsolicited advice time! Or, not really advice, more like miscellaneous tips and tricks, because if there's one thing eight years of martial arts has equipped me to write, it's fight scenes.

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Fun things to add to a fight scene (hand to hand edition)

It's not uncommon for two people to kick at the same time and smack their shins together, or for one person to block a kick with their shin. This is called a shin lock and it HURTS like a BITCH. You can be limping for the rest of the fight if you do it hard enough.

If your character is mean and short, they can block kicks with the tip of their elbow, which hurts the other guy a lot more and them a lot less

Headbutts are a quick way to give yourself a concussion

If a character has had many concussions, they will be easier to knock out. This is called glass jaw.

Bad places to get hit that aren't the groin: solar plexus, liver, back of the head, side of the thigh (a lot of leg kicks aim for this because if it connects, your opponent will be limping)

Give your character a fighting style. It helps establish their personality and physicality. Are they a grappler? Do they prefer kicks or fighting up close? How well trained are they?

Your scalp bleeds a lot and this can get in your eyes, blinding you

If you get hit in the nose, your eyes water

Adrenaline's a hell of a drug. Most of the time, you're not going to know how badly you've been hurt until after the fact

Even with good technique, it's really easy to break toes and fingers

Blocking hurts, dodging doesn't

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Just thought these might be useful! If you want a more comprehensive guide or a weapons edition, feel free to ask. If you want, write how your characters fight in the comments!

Have a bitchin day <3

The Goose Explains

By Amos Russel Wells

It was a goose who sadly cried, "Alas! Alas! The farm is wide, And large the barnyard company, But no one ever looks at me; There really seems to be no use, Or praise, or glory, for a goose.

They pet the dog whose bark and bite Scare tramps by day and thieves by night; But when I bravely stand on guard, And drive intruders from the yard, They laugh at me. The kitten plays, And all admire her cunning ways; But when I venture in the room, To play, in turn, some stick or broom Soon drives me out. Those birds they call Canaries cannot sing at all In my sweet fashion; yet their lay Is praised—from mine folks turn away. They prize the horse who pulls the cart; But when I try to do my part, And mount the shafts to help him draw,

They whip me off. Last week I saw Two stupid horses pull a plow, I watched the work, I learned just how; Then, with my bill, I did the same In flower-beds, and got only blame. It really seems of little use To try to help—when one's a goose!"

Illustrations commissioned by @leapness for @jerichos_kitchen

every writer knows the pain of having an idea that’s “too good” to write because you know you can’t do it justice

She's got him shackled to her ankle. He's on her invisible leash; he's wearing her invisible choke collar. He can't shake free. Deep breath, Stan, he tells himself. At least you're still fucking alive. Or alive and fucking. He laughs inwardly. Good one, Stan.

The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood

Start

fascinating that when you tell people "you have to learn the rules to break them" when talking about drawing/painting etc everyone nods and agrees but the second you say "you have to read books if you want to write better" there's a horde of contrarians begging to be the wrongest people ever all of a sudden

You followed me. Means you’re online. Go work on your novel. Lol.

U_U OK, OK, You got me. I'll write a few lines...

Some of you might find this controversial, but I recently decided to change the love interest of my story to a woman in the name of yuri.