"your Youth Is Over, Asahi."

tired of being tired

i know it's hard. but i so firmly believe the strongest antidote to loneliness is reaching out first. and continuing to reach out. again and again and again. excise any scrap of shame you hold about being the person who texts first or pitches the plan or asks to get lunch. everyone is tired and busy and struggling. and afraid of feeling unwanted and unimportant. don't let the people you love feel that way. reach out first. don't be a ghost in your own life.

i am holding my loneliness and she is a teenage girl with puffy eyes, and i love her more than i have ever loved anyone

Soft headcanon. Slightly angsty.

TW: NONE.

So since it's canon, that it's just Shōyō and his little sister, Natsu, at home, Shōyō has nights where he just... CAN'T. He's so young and he doesn't know how to parent. So some nights, when Natsu refuses to sleep, to the point they're both in tears, Shōyō calls Keishin, literally begging for him to come over and calling him dad, (by accident. It just slips out.) And Ukai is there, so fast.

He gently rocks Natsu to sleep, while Shōyō just lays on the bed, curled up. He's softly singing lullaby by Nickelback, while gently running his fingers through Shōyō's hair, till both of the kids are asleep.

Ukai stays the night, and this goes on for a week or 2, till either he moves into their place, or they move into his.

But then the same thing happens with Tanaka, one night. He's just so fucking drained from having to relentless put up with Saeko being drunk nearly all the time. And he doesn't have anyone to turn to, since it's just him and her.

So Ukai takes in Tanaka, and they both save up, and get him his own place, next door or a few houses down the street, when he's ready.

And he even pays for Saeko's aa meetings and therapy. But he absolutely sings Tanaka to sleep as well. But he sings how you remind me, for him. Cause it's just more fitting.

And before he knows it, Keishin realizes that.. maybe.. having a family of his own.. having a few kids, ain't so bad. He doesn't really know why he kept pushing it away all these years.

Cause he's the happiest he's ever been.

Hinata wakes keishin up at like 2am because he just can’t do it and keishin can’t make out the blubbering but he’s able to hear “please help dad” and then he’s pulling on two different sandals and putting his shirt on backwards before busting out the door.

//////

One night, Natsu can't sleep cause it's getting close to summer, so her room is hot, even w/ ac. So she goes to get some water in the kitchen, and Ukai is up cause of the same thing and when he hears her footsteps he turns and leans down a bit and asks "Hey baby ginger, what's up?" In the gentlest voice.

And she says "Room's too hot. Need water." So he gets it for her, and they end up sitting on the couch for most of the night, and Natsu is regaling her memories of how Shōyō-nii got her into volleyball and everything he's told her about him (Ukai) and Takeda. And they end up asleep in the living room together.

She's on the couch, he's on a roll out futon sleeping bag. And their pinkies are linked, as a comfort habit Natsu has formed w/ Shōyō-nii. Cause knowing someone's there while she's asleep helps her stay asleep.

You’re always going to be young in someone’s eyes and old in someone else’s, talented to one and terrible to the next. The worlds never going to agree on a definition of what you are so you might as well ignore that shit and be whatever the fuck you wanna be for yourself.

as if I'd pass up the opportunity to draw sad Geto

Girls when there are books to be read and spooky movies to be watched but they have responsibilities they must tend to

Karasuno Manager Headcanons

synopsis: as a manager of a team, you really get to know your players, here’s what i headcanon an additional manager’s (realistic) relationship with each character would look like starting as a first year and working all the way through third year.

- you and kiyoko joined the karasuno volleyball club your first year. when daichi had been asking around to recruit a team manager, he had come across both kiyoko and you in the hallway, neither of which had chosen a club yet. even though the two of you were simply acquainted at this point, she turned to you, just as you turned to her. with one shared nod in agreement, you both turned back to the expectant first year, and the rest was history.

- out of all the individuals on the team, it was kiyoko who you were the closest to. you both learned the ropes of managing a team together and provided each other with support and advice to keep the team running smoothly as ever. that often meant sleepovers where the two of you would compare notes and look for new drills that might help the boys with their techniques, which led to a friendship that extended beyond the court.

- while the second and first years looked to daichi as the cornerstone of the team, at least in your mind, he’d always be the same daichi who spent countless hours practicing alone, asking to keep the keys overnight so that he could keep refining his receives. sugawara and asahi would stay late with him from time to time, but on the nights they couldn’t stay, you would, throwing up ball after ball for him,m and offering guidance when you could. you were no coach, but that hadn’t been what daichi needed from you. at the time, he simply needed someone to be there for him, be there with him.

- sugawara often joked you were his soulmate, and from the way you two complimented each other in terms of supporting the team and each other along the way, you might even believe it. suga always strived to do his best, leaving 100% of himself on the court each and everyday. in fact, he’d overwork himself during practice his first year to the point where you’d keep an extra water bottle and protein bar in your bag in case he needed it, which was more than a few times. when kageyama came to karasuno, there were a couple times sugawara reverted to that state of overworking, but it was in times like these he had you to lean on. he had you there to remind him that his efforts were not in vain, and that despite his situation on the bench, he was the very heart of karasuno’s volleyball club.

- asahi was the team’s gentle giant. from just his second year, he was already getting comments on his mature appearance. it hurt him at first, feeling as if he had to look a certain way in order to not be targeted in both matches on the court or occasionally in the hallways of karasuno high. you tried your best to cheer him up, but it wasn’t until the fiery libero first year, nishinoya, joined the team that you saw a real change in asahi. as a manager, there was only so much you could do, but noya was exactly what asahi needed to pick him up and get back on his feet. you enjoyed watching them, quite literally watching fire and ice interact.

- nishinoya was a menace to be reckoned with, and with the arrival of tanaka at the same time? there was no stopping the whirlwind of shenanigans that were to come. while they took an immediate liking to kiyoko, you’d bore through some of their “flirting” too at first. however, you suspected daichi or suga to put a stop to it after one occasion they took it a little too far. even so, those two brought spirit to the team, spirit that you had to admit the former teammates that graduated had seemed to lack. they were definitely on the wild side, but they were dependable and vital to the team dynamic. besides, every now and then it was fun to join in on their pranks and jests at the rising first years after them.

- the first years. ah, they were nothing short of a handful. hinata was a quite the energetic one, never able to sit still long enough to listen to the captain, the managers, or even coach ukai later on. he alone was sure to keep you and sugawara on your toes as you both were often tasked of keeping him from wandering off during tournaments. it never failed the ginger would leave for the restroom, only to need ‘saving’ from his upperclassmen. however, when he was paired with kageyama, it was a nightmare at first.

- kageyama took a while for you to really figure out. he was always so well…intense! as a manager, you looked for ways to draw that intensity away in order to open up to the team a bit more, but even kiyoko drew a blank on how to best help him overcome that obstacle. your solution? pair him with hinata. sure, they fought like cats and dogs, but you were sure that they would quit fighting and make friends. by the first match against aoba johsai, you were certain you’d made a mistake. months of work, and they were still fighting! still, you couldn’t help but snicker at his less than lackluster insults towards the ginger. he tried, and that was what mattered.

- now, that left tsukishima and yamaguchi. their first practice was simple, it was an easier transition for them as they hadn’t come to the team with such a dramatic entrance. tsukishima was someone you could laugh with, but what you liked about him the most was the way he was a walking contradiction. he claimed this club was a mere extracurricular, but you and kiyoko liked to watch how intense he became on the court, like he was more dedicated than he tried to appear. he grew on you like volleyball did on him, and you made sure encourage him every step of the way, which yamaguchi jumped on board with.

- yamaguchi was probably your favorite first year…if you had to pick one. he was always encouraging, always willing to learn, and on several occasions, you found him taking after you and some of his peers. he was observant, watching each serve, each pass, and each spike with keen, attentive eyes. while his position as a pinch server kept him from seeing much playing time, he gave every serve his all. off the court, you often bumped into him in the library. together, you’d study silently, each minding their own. oh and you totally didn’t notice him checking out a book about volleyball towards the beginning of the season.

- this team, this club, it had been everything to you back then. high school had been a time of new experiences, and because of the volleyball club, you’d learned how to be a leader, how to be a helping hand, a supporter, and a friend. you even learned the ins and outs of mentorship as you and kiyoko taught yachi everything you knew. she tended to take more after kiyoko, but it was a welcome change to have a new addition to the sidelines, someone to chat with and teach.

- extra: you still see your teammates around japan or on television as some of the first years went pro. you still hang out with sugawara and daichi in miyagi, and every so often, the three of you are graced with the visits from asahi and noya, who travel abroad with the wind it seems, or tanaka and kiyoko, who are now happily married. the dynamic has changed since your days at karasuno, but these people shaped you into the very person you are, and you wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

@ shayewrites tumblr 2022

this might be one of my favorite works since i got to look at each character specifically! thank you for the request anon! reminder: requests are still open here!

letter to theo by vincent van gogh

Virginia Woolf, Night and Day/Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath