Latest Posts by calcoifer - Page 2
I was less lonely when you weren’t with me
You’re not asking for too much you’re just asking the wrong person
my life is just [dyes hair] [unprocessed childhood trauma] [eats pasta] [writes poetry in the notes app] [looks at photos of grassy plains] [eats pasta]
Almost broke my finger I retweeted that so hard.
The perfect night
to A
funny how i thought i didn’t know anybody as interested with zodiac signs as me, and then came you. i love the night sky, A, and the contellation of your sign. i wish i had told you that. your sign sit between capricorn and pisces, the cup bearer of the olympian gods. i wonder if the skies looked the same when we were born. and if we intended to meet in this life, but not end up together.
oh, A, i still feel the warmth of your hand on my knee while you were driving stealing glances at me. i will remember that look, that face that i regret never kissing. know that every day you cross my mind and that the harder i try to forget the harder i want to remember. that’s why i’m writing this, to let it all out. to forget. so i can forget why you always cross my mind. i’m so sorry, A. i was a coward, i couldn’t run fast to catch up on you. i regret not kissing you before i left for the last time. i can still feel the warmth of your hand on my knee like it was just yesterday. i can still feel your face resting peacefully in my hand. what a wonderful feeling it is to remember you. you remind me of a flower field with you in the middle waiting for me. i’m sorry my plans didn’t go as planned. you should meet my son, he’s amazing.
i was scared, i was scared, A. i couldn’t escape i didn’t know why. i needed you to pull me out but you had your own problems. we were both taken. i thought i didn’t deserve you because you were so nice and i was like the girl who had so many stupid mistakes. i was made to believe that nobody likes me. i was made to believe that i was horrible. i couldn’t let you in because i was so disgusted of myself. i told you that, i think. that you’ll hate me if you get to know me better. but i love you. i love you, A. and i am in pain that we’re not together. god, i hope you read this. pls stumble upon this stupid letter.
when i told you that i was maybe hoping we’ll end up together, i meant that. sorry. things didn’t go my way. now it’s harder for me to escape.
maybe we’ll meet again some time, in our next lives. this lifetime is not for us, A.
find me
i wanted to tell you to listen to fast car by tracy chapman
The night was young but I only had you for that moment. Your hands occassionally found mine when it’s not on the steering wheel, I loved it. Some days that memory make me sad, tonight it made me smile. Probably because for that moment I knew you were mine. At least for almost an hour you were mine, and I was yours, not to keep but to remember for the rest of our lives.
I know you’re happy where you are, I am as well. Glad I didn’t drag you into my messy life. I wanted you to remember me as you saw me. For the last time. It was me. All me. All my fault. Sorry.
The sweeter you treat her, the nastier she’ll be for you
if they don’t let you in, you know where to find me.
Oh, Beatrice!!!
In closing, please do not hesitate to contact me at your earliest convenience. Just one letter can change everything. The three Baudelaires may be long gone, but there is a fourth Baudelaire here, waiting for you to untie “My Silence Knot” and help me find the end of a story that began with you– in the very room where I sit now, about to hand this letter to my business letter writing instructor so he will grade it and mail it.
Yours in business,
Beatrice Baudelaire
.
i dreamt of him, that he was all over me, that he was saving me
oh, that smile and those deep, deep jet black eyes
i wish i had said yes to that music festival date
wish i protested when he assumed I wasn’t the type
you’re not too sensitive. you’re not overreacting. if it hurts you, it hurts you.
.
I had this tiny notebook I kept for when I have something to write about what’s going on with my heart and on the end I wrote, “You’re not the one.”
I threw it away.
I wish I had left earlier before the night you took me to the rooftop of the apartment we were living in to watch the city lights. I wish I wasn’t there in the morning so you did not have to make me coffee. I wish I was somewhere else.
But you’re a pit hole and I hate you.
I wish I had left before I first saw you.
wish i left earlier
.
I miss you, self.
i just want a kinder world than this
What pleases u in bed?
sleep
Don’t worry, the right one won’t leave.
look: the right people will get it. the right people will see you and appreciate you for the person that you are. the right people won’t require you to dilute, censor, or edit yourself in order to be worthy of their time and affection. you don’t need to waste your time on people who are committed to misunderstanding you
me to me: don’t worry baby
the poem is by Dylan Thomas
Do not go gentle into that good night; Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Interstellar (2014) dir. Christopher Nolan
by Stefanie Nieuwenhuyse