!!

now that everyone from twitter has joined tumblr overnight, it's time to lay a couple ground rules:

1. it's not called a "retweet", it's called a "reblog", but if you're REALLY cool, you refer to it as a "rebagel"

2. if someone has fewer followers than you, it is totally fair to call them "irrelevant", but it is actually more stinging to call them "irrelephant"

3. if you see someone irl that you think might have a tumblr, you're supposed to say "i like your shoe laces". the correct response, which any true tumblrite would know by heart, is "thanks, i stole them from the president"

4. there is a particular phenomenon that happens after 12am EST called "nightblogging", and everything after this point is the fault of the australians

5. tumbeasts

made a beginners guide for the twitter newbies hope this helps <3

i don't WANT to read smut right now

i WANT to read a passionate, poetic, jaw dropping, tears streaking down my face, heart wrenching, giggle inducing, feet kicking, cringy yet amazing, gorgeous story written by someone who apologizes for english not being their first language(they're the best writers ever) which has 4 chapters and then makes me scream because it hasnt been updated in months and the author is mia

he's the funniest person i know

made a beginners guide for the twitter newbies hope this helps <3

I am going to give the person who created grape juice the most sloppiest, breath taking, disgusting, lewd, nasty, mind blanking, hypnotizing, creamiest, indecent, toppiest, vulgar, rough, uncalled for, atrocious, hard-core, impure, rancid, disabelizing, wettest, dastardly, sickening, outright vile, putrid, gawk gawk 9000, filthy, foul, revolting, slimy, charming, mouth gaping, eye watering, vocal cord straining, euphoric, sick, nauseating, monstrous, catastrophic, barbaring, toe curling, head tossing, eye rolling, back arching, sheet gripping, nail digging, tongue hanging, lip biting, soul snatching, life support making, milked dry, heavenly, life threatening, self breeding, world changing, flabbergasted, stimulated, voluptuous, mouth opening, chocking, appetizing, divine, mouth watering, satisfying, delightful, joyriding, thrilling, heaven sent, sinful, death dropping, alluring, tears rolling, hair pulling, messiest, moan inducing, mind numbing, back bending, hand clenching, head ever. I am so grateful grape juice was made it tastes so damn good and I wanna give the person who made it a reward. I want them to feel as good as how I feel when I sip grape juice.