Burrrb - Vicks

now that everyone from twitter has joined tumblr overnight, it's time to lay a couple ground rules:

1. it's not called a "retweet", it's called a "reblog", but if you're REALLY cool, you refer to it as a "rebagel"

2. if someone has fewer followers than you, it is totally fair to call them "irrelevant", but it is actually more stinging to call them "irrelephant"

3. if you see someone irl that you think might have a tumblr, you're supposed to say "i like your shoe laces". the correct response, which any true tumblrite would know by heart, is "thanks, i stole them from the president"

4. there is a particular phenomenon that happens after 12am EST called "nightblogging", and everything after this point is the fault of the australians

5. tumbeasts

so bECAUSE OF DREAMS FACE REVEAL I WENT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING AT 12AM SO NATURALLY SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS BEING MURDERED AND CALLED THE POLICE AND WHEN THEY GOT HERE I HAD TO GIVE THEM MY EXPLANATION FOR SCREAMING AT 12AM SO I JUST SAID DREAM AND ONE OF THE COPS EYES SUDDENLY GOT REALLY BIG AND THEN HE SAID “HE FACE REVEALED??!?” AND THEN HE WATCHED THE VIDEO ON HIS PHONE I HAVE A GROWN POLICE MAN SITTING IN MY DRIVEWAY CRYING AND CURSING AT THE DREAM TEAM UNDER HIS BREATH HIS PARTER GAVE HIM A SHOCK BLANKET OH MY GOD

we’re still here. happy pride 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

he will never be unfunny

this is so fucking funny

You don’t appreciate just how good Ao3′s search system is until you try to find something on any other Internet archive.

Don’t take Ao3 for granted, people. It’s so good.

crying

"My child is fine."

Your child has an obsession and is in love with multiple people and they’re not even real

I love that heidi klum, international super model and tv personality, was like “I’m going to be a worm for halloween” and went for the most horrifying hyper realistic version possible and was quoted saying (in said worm outfit) ‘I want to put a smile on peoples faces’. ma’am I am gagging but I love that for u