I’m Depressed Today And All My Friends And My Boyfriend Are Too Busy To Talk To Me, Or Just Don’t

I’m depressed today and all my friends and my boyfriend are too busy to talk to me, or just don’t want to, u don’t know. Do I have the right to be sad about it?

Absolutely you do. It’s always hard when the people you care about don’t have the time to hang out and it’s completely valid to be sad about it. Be sad as long as you need to. I’ve spent weeks being sad before because I needed it.

After that though, there are some decisions to be made.

When I was in a similar position, one of my friends told me that, if I wanted to be part of the group, I needed to ask.

I wasn’t hopeful that asking would help. And, to be honest, sometimes it didn’t. Sometimes people didn’t follow up when I asked them to hang out or they made it clear they’d rather be somewhere else.

Sometimes they said yes and then they invited me to hang out later.

If/when they say no, there’s another decision to be made. It’s about how you want to live your life. If being with people is important to you, maybe it’s time you join a club or online group where you can find people who are looking for friendship. Look for people that make you happy, that don’t make you second guess when you ask for what you need.

For me, it meant that i didn’t want to wait for people to be my happiness anymore. I wanted to make stuff and learn things without waiting for friends who always seemed to have something else going on. I spent more time writing and I went to a different college than some of my best friends. I learned to do a lot of things on my own and, for me, that was the best turn of events imaginable.

When people say no, it’s important to find something that fulfills your needs. It’s hard and there are a lot of false starts, but the important thing is you keep trying different things until you find something that sticks. Stop giving others chance after chance and give yourself a couple instead.

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I love everything about this.

Ching Yeh
Ching Yeh
Ching Yeh
Ching Yeh
Ching Yeh
Ching Yeh
Ching Yeh
Ching Yeh

Ching Yeh

4 years ago

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(Watch how many people don’t get this.)

6 years ago

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My Favourite Things About Scrivener
My Favourite Things About Scrivener

My favourite things about Scrivener

1. Navigation. You can see all your chapters, scenes, character & setting planning at one glance and switch between them very easily - compared to scrolling up and down in one long word processing document. Every file can also be a folder, so you can have collapsible items underneath it.

2. Word count targets. The “Project Targets” are particularly useful for NaNoWriMo so you don’t have to keep looking back at the website to see how you’re doing for the day, but more so outside of it, when you want to keep yourself working to a target but don’t have Nano’s charts and daily word counts. It also gives you a nice ding when you hit your session target.

3. How many pages? I only recently discovered this, but it’s very nice to be able to see in Project Statistics approximately how big your manuscript would be in pages without worrying about formatting. 

4. Outlining. Scrivener has two methods of outlining - one is Corkboard, which is exactly what it sounds like, a digital corkboard with notes pinned on it that represent your chapters/scenes with their summaries. The screenshot above is called ‘outliner’ and lists collapsible chapters/scenes with various statistics you can select as shown in the tick menu. Generally I prefer Corkboard, but Outliner is useful if you just want to see everything in a clear order. 

5. Full screen. I get distracted very easily when writing, so the full-screen writing mode is wonderful for me to avoid that - but you can still choose certain windows from the normal Scrivener view to show up. I have my targets and my summary, so I can stick to my plan when I’m writing and also see what progress I’m making.

6. Notes. No screenshot, but it’s a simple post-it note style box to the side of every document (chapter, scene, character etc.) that allows you to add notes. This may sound very simple, but it’s far more useful than I’d expected. During NaNoWriMo when I’m not meant to be editing at all, but I know something needs fixing, I will jot down something in the side like ‘Take out the horse’ so that when I go through again to edit I know exactly the things to focus on immediately but which would have taken too much time before. It’s linked to the scene so I don’t just have a pile of notes in one document at the end and then have to work out where it needs fixing.

Overall

I downloaded Scrivener for the first time two years ago, and now I can’t imagine working without it. It’s so nice to have the planning and the writing all combined into one place where I can easily switch between the two. I haven’t yet got as far in a novel created in Scrivener to use the compile features so I can’t comment on those, but so far all my experiences of it have been good.

One thing to note is that if transferring project between a Windows and a Mac version of Scrivener, it’s generally best to zip the file first.

[Screenshots from my current novel Kindling Ashes using the Mac version of Scrivener - some features may not be available in Windows yet.]

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brushlesprouts - Welcome to my humble literary lair
Welcome to my humble literary lair

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