Kipo: He May Be A Criminal, But He Is Still A Person;

(Shadow and Rouge hanging out on some rooftop, laying down, looking up at the stars)

Shadow: ...

Shadow: Rouge?

Rouge: Yeah?

Shadow: ...have you ever wanted to be a caterpillar?

Rouge: Uh...no, the fuck?

Shadow: Just a question, no need for that foul language.

Rouge: Ugh, you sound like Blaze when she's in a good mood. *punches his arm lightly, smiling*

Shadow: *chuckles softly*

Rouge and Shadow, staring at the night sky: ✨🌃

Rouge: Why'd you ask, Shadow?

Shadow: ...

Shadow: Just...you know...

Shadow: They eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Shadow: Sounds nice is all.

Rouge: Hm.

Rouge: You do know that they have a life span of two weeks, right?

Shadow: That can be another highlight.

Rouge, immediately sitting up: Shadow, no- 😨

Sonic, lovestruck: You're so pretty...

Shadow: Yeah, pretty depressed.

Sonic and Shadow: ...

Shadow: *looks at Sonic with realization* You were flirting, weren't you?

Sonic, deeply concerned: Well I was, but now I'm wondering if you're okay.

*fighting Black Doom*

Shadow: You said he was gonna eat my soul!

Omega: _IT WAS FUNNY!_

Shadow: NOT TO ME!!

Rouge, flying: You both have issues. 🙄

Shadow: Of course I have issues!

*Black Doom roars*

Shadow: THAT’S MY FREAKING FATHER!!!

Omega: _STOP FORGIVING MY CRIMES!_

Omega: _I WORKED SO HARD ON THOSE._

Rouge, patting Omega's arm: It's alright big guy, shhh...

Cop: Miss Rouge, this is supposed to be a private interrogation. You have to leave the room.

Rouge: He has abandonment issues! Stop forcing his hand!

Cop: ...

Omega: 👉👈🥺

Gaz: Ohhh, I bet you Ghost took my saaaw.

—

Gaz, grabbing the saw from Ghost: 🖕🏾🙂

Ghost: 😐❔ *Gaz walks away*

—

Gaz, talking like he’s on The Office: Ghost and I are friends 😌

Gaz: We only hate each other at work.

Mickey, who just had throat surgery and is using a text to speech app to communicate: “Have you ever had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?”

Ian: 😐

Mickey: “Was it crispy?” 👁️_👁️

———

Mickey: “You want sex?” 😃

Ian: 😒

Mickey: …

Mickey: “YOU WANT SEX?” 😃

*More Sonic Characters Phone Convos*

———

Rouge🧡: Hey

Rouge🧡: Can I call you?

You (Shadow): You can.

Rouge🧡: [MISSED CALL]

Rouge🧡: You didn't pick up?!

You (Shadow): I didn't say I'd pick up.

*Sonic using a phone because it's my personal headcanon that he'd truly be lost without autocorrect*

———

Blue Faker💙: hey they all out of lesanya

Blue Faker💙: lasanya

Blue Faker💙: laysanya

Blue Faker💙: the shit garfield eat

Shadow's old ass reading this: (ಠ_ಠ)??

Price: Ever realize how humans cut down bird houses to make birdhouses?

Price: Like, humans cut down trees to make birdhouses—

Price: —and trees are technically birdhouses.

Laswell: How high are you? (.-_.^)

Price, not even aware: 6’2.

Kipo: Hey is anyone d-

Wolf: Distressed?

Benson: Delusional?

Hugo: Dead inside?

Wolf: Down for murder?

Benson: Disappointed with life?

Hugo: Depressed?

Kipo: Done with their work—what is wrong with you all??