Today Felt Long, Today Felt Heavy, Today Felt Strong, I Wasn’t Quite Ready, And I Think It’s Ok If

~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

Maybe, just maybe we could try to build a wall that permits our growth and breathing than by disguising our safety under the impression of a wall that inconsistently foreshadows our own strings from being intertwined by another’s, you know it’s not wrong to love :) you never did anything wrong by loving

just found out that “wish you were here” in persian is ‘jāy-e shomā khālīst’ which means “your place is empty” and it felt like being stabbed in the heart 37 times

things you can do despite your sense of guilt

- go for a walk even if you think you don’t deserve it

- have a snack even if you think you don’t deserve it

- take a break from studying even if you think you don’t deserve it

- reach out to someone even if you think you don’t deserve it

- demand, have needs and wants even if you think you don’t deserve it

- make it through the day even if you think you don’t deserve it

- feel mentally exhausted albeit seeming physically fine

- feel the sense of abandonment despite the company of those around you

- go to bed early despite not having done much according to your mental routine

- let out a deep breath even if you think you weren’t holding one back

To those sharing every little aspect of their days?? Y’all are painstakingly adorable, it crushes me, it BREAKS me to see that smile on your face, or how your eyes light up every time you bring that one rock you saw on your way home and nurture and care for it as if you plunked it on the table from your own womb or how that one lady flashed you a smile and those beautiful wrinkles caressing her plum cheeks could tell tales that go on for days, I’m. Here. To. Hear. You. Out. Please spoil me with the abundance of your cute brain let me hear that voice again I BEG OF YOU.

no phone i did not “miss a call” i watched it ring the whole time

I don’t think anyone’s told you just how spotless a place your head is to plant a sprout, let me do you the honours

“God, if you’re a thing with ears: please, please.”

Elizabeth Acevedo, The Poet X

Richard Siken, War Of The Foxes

Christian Wiman, More Like The Stars

Never mind. I invented you. I invented you, as far as my purposes go. I invented loving you and I invented your death. I have my tricks and my trap doors, too.

Alice Munro, from Collected Stories; “Tell me Yes or No,”

Marina Tsvetaeva, tr. by Elaine Feinstein from, “I’m glad your sickness.”

Robert Frost, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Sarah Kane, 4.48 Psychosis

“(…) and then there’s the silence that comes back, a million times bigger than me, sneaks into my bones and wails and wails and wails until I can’t be quiet anymore.”

Ada Limón, Bright Dead Things; The Quiet Machine

H.D., The Look-Out

Akosua Afiriyie-Hwedie, In My Version

Lucille Clifton, The Death of Crazy Horse

repetition in poetry // part v

(part i) (part ii) (part iii) (part iv)

You ever get the feeling of holding back your affection because you don’t want to overwhelm someone with your love ,the fact that you have so much to give to them but you think there’s so little they’d accept , you don’t want to scare them off if anything you want to embrace them and tell them just how amazing they are , how beautiful a mind they have , how their thoughts are aligned in such a pretty manner ,how the sight of them warms your heart, how your body craves to be around them, they make you feel domestic, they make you feel content, and youd do anything to protect them, even if it means from your own love for them, you want to let them know that they’re stuck with you, how you have to resist the urge to spoil them unconditionally with your passionate feelings for them, you want to make them feel reassured, safe, like they belong and matter

~ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

a few from lois dodd’s fire collection