Quirky Little Flash Fiction By Niven Aka Monkeyerror, As Narrated By Russil Tamsen. 5 Mins. Original

The Old Man Bar is the opening scene of the upcoming novel by Dylan O'Toole, and is narrated by Russil Tamsen. Original here. 4 mins.

A young out-of-town writer hits a dive bar, angling for some inspiration. He meets a grouchy old dude - and what a vivid character he is, the old geezer! Coincidence promptly entangles them both in a web of misunderstandings and threatening behavior.

I think most of us have met him along the way at some point.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

9. The Poet and The Thief, Part One. 

An intriguing short story written last year by Jen von Mountebank aka jayarrarr, one of our renowned editors here on Tumblr, and narrated by Russil Tamsen. Original text here.

The four characters include a grungy thief who talks in an odd pirate-ish patois, an upset and pompous poet, and Woody Allen as The Narrator, who says he made the other two up. Now they're all sitting in the same radio theater jail cell. It's a philosophical dissection about whether it's even possible for a writer to avoid borrowing/stealing. (The language is a tad complex, so listen closely!)

Part Two here.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

I made Tom Robbins crack up! Score!

At the writers conference, famed novelist Tom Robbins had us do a writing exercise.

1. Write down your favorite word...  (Then we all read out our favorite words. Mine was Australopithecus. Say what?)

2. Write a first sentence of a story/novel/whatever, using that word... (Oh, if had known that's where he was heading!... So we read out our sentences. I had the class laughing.)  

3. Write a second sentence that connects to that first one and opens up the potential of the story.  (We all read our completed sentence pair.) Here's what I came up with:

"Most early hominids sported shaggy manes, but none had a more luxurious, enviable head of hair than Bob the Australopithecus. His sweaty female, Boo, however showed little interest in his chevelure and seemed far more jazzed by the rugged Javamen who had been beaching their sea canoes that morning." I didn't get a chance to explain away the time travel aspect... ;-)

Gratuitous Photo of My Silliness

A nutty short story called Sleepy Daze by Tumblr's how-to-shoot-a-squid, comically narrated by Russil Tamsen. Original text here.

Possibly my favorite narration so far! The story follows a charmingly stoic poor bastard, a put-upon dufus named Justin. We track his hospital misadventures after his ear falls off one day - and starts talking to him!! The bloke gets beaten down by his harpie of an ex and by a sadistic nurse, but he keeps on going... and he's going to give his agent a heart attack.

There's a great rhythm to the writing in this piece, a lilt you wouldn't know without having lived somewhere near London. Chris asked for Estuary English, so I gave it my best shot! Thanks for the opportunity to do a longer piece, mate! (17 mins).

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

The Future of Poop, comic monologue penned by Peter Bradley, performed by Russil Tamsen. Original here. 6 mins.

This was just too fucking funny for me to pass up! The conceit is simple: earthlings in the future invent time travel technology… and use it as a waste disposal chute. We in the past, specifically our bodies, are the hapless recipients of future waste. (It’s probably going to happen, too, right?) There’s only one way to solve this problem.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

Cry It Out Baby, a short story by Ariadne Paige aka mslabyrinth, narration by Russil Tamsen. What a touching piece of magical realism this is. Or you might call it a parable. So beautifully written - not a comma out of place, nor an unnecessary word! Original text here.

A dumped lass slowly repairs her emotional self one step at a time, but her decision to skip the grieving stage has some paranormal consequences. Is she losing her mind - as well as her hands? It's only through the kindly intercession of a nearby babushka in the girl's greatest moment of need that the healing tears are finally triggered.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

Yay!  I finally have a decent video of me performing! This is me reading fiction at L Train. The piece is David Sautter's detective story "People Just Disappear", and this took place during the first Fiction, Live! evening which I also emceed. Videography by Jeff Handy.

A charming flash fiction from certainwaters; all the various voices performed by Russil Tamsen. Original text here.

It sounds like a medieval Persian fairy tale with a bit of Doctor Who stirred in (minus the time travel). The gal at the center of it all is like Merida from Pixar's Brave, except she escapes not into the forest but into a bizarre solitary sickness... 

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

Chapter 5 of the new sci-fi novel, Engineer Your Perfect Child, by Bett Correa, as narrated by Russil Tamsen. 10 mins. Original on Amazon here. 

In this chapter, two gangleaders - a gruff hero and a slippery materialist - bump heads in a futuristic strip club in Lima, Peru. Pedro is prying to find out what happened to several street kids he mentors who have been mysteriously kidnapped and returned brain-dead. 

This also happens to be the third book I've personally edited. The author said about this reading, and I quote: "This is SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!" One exclamation point is quite sufficient, says my inner book editor.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!