Alastor As A "Gift From God" AU

best thing about uncle iroh is that if you pay attention he is actually just as much of an idiot as zuko but has just mastered the art of coming across as a wise old man. the even better thing is that zuko is the only one on the planet who somewhat realizes this and no one would ever believe him because he's zuko

Snape is so physically non violent it's honestly kind of weird, considering how nasty he can be verbally. He's by some distance the nastiest Hogwarts teacher in the classroom (I'm ignoring some of the DADA outliers), but at the same time he's by far the most responsible in terms of student safety and appropriate punishments. He's one of the very few who never endangers them in some manner, and the one who most goes out of his way to protect them. I wonder why that is. With Harry it's fairly simple to see why, given that he sees him as James yet has promised to protect him. With other students it isn't so simple.

Short DPXDC Prompts #468

Danny is a Chemistry teacher at Gotham Academy. His favorite student is Tim. He shocks the students by teaching and creating a Fear Antitoxin for the kids to learn as part of their curriculum.

Parseltongue & Tom Riddle

I really need to see more fics with snakes being assholes and Tom having to suffer because they refuse to leave him alone. 

You can’t tell me on a cold night 20 something snakes wouldn’t stick to Tom like glue. 

Or the cat equivalent of sitting on your face while your asleep and suffocating you with fur. AKA noodle boi accidentally wrapping around his neck too tight. 

And snakes do not know boundaries:

Snake: damn it’s cold 

Tom: *minding his business*  

Snake: ah-ha! *shoots up Tom’s pant leg just a touch too far*

Tom: *shrieks* MOTHERFU-!

I am the Ruler of Divine Strength!!! Fear my noodle arms!

Ace Radiostatic idea Vox finally figuring himself out and trying to figure out how to talk to Alastor especially now he's realized yes AL likes him romantically, or he hopes at least. And does not want to blow it again and while sitting in an overlords meeting just blurts out "I DON'T WANT TO FUCK YOU" to Alastor. Everyone else is just staring WTF. But Alastor communicates him via radio waves or Alastor can tell what he means. All the overlords think Alastor is going to kill him but instead "I'll be free at 8 pick me up then". Every single Overlord 'WTF HOW DID THAT WORK???'

The fastest and most blunt way to clear up a long-standing miscommunication but if it works it works, that'd be funny as hell to witness everyone's faces

Don't skip out on the bullying batman statement. Danny deserves to spook some bats

dp x dc prompt #58

danny and a couple rogues, maybe his friends from amity, or just by himself starts up a haunted house in gotham. the reviews are stellar and you can hear the screams from across town.

everything goes smoothly until the joker tries to escape through his building.

the bats get spooked, danny bullies batman, and the joker comes out at the end babbling nonsense about the ghost king trying to eat his soul.

Prismo: Simon you gotta stop being depressed bro, you made a crossover in the multiverse happen and now the fucking FEDS are after me

Simon: Nuh uh

here's the thing, I fully believe that Alastor is aroace, but I also believe that he would commit to dating someone if he thought that doing so would be really entertaining. like absolutely Al hates Vox, but if he discovered that calling Vox "babe" made him consistently short-circuit and fry any other nearby VoxTek, I think he would seriously consider starting to call Vox "babe" just to get to see him bluescreen and wreck his own tech

Thinking about Alasotr using the transatlantic radio filter voice as a cover/mask to hide behind

And then finally, finally being comfortable enough around the others to drop it.

And I can't decide: if he drops the radio filter first, for a few days/weeks maybe and then let's that beautiful southern Louisiana accent start coming through, with little bits of Lousiana Creole slipping though more and more,

or if the whole gang are all just drunk as hell during game night and he loses a round and just straight goes off in his souther accent and then slips into Lousiana Creole, calling Lucifer a lying cheater