Feel Free To Talk 💓

I did something like this fifteen years ago. We forgave each other this year. It was nice to reminisce about the past in a good way. That's extremely rare for me.

by later operator

I'm a skilled individual. I am engaging, intelligent and even a little charismatic.

What I'm not is lucky. Rolling the dice a lot and getting a couple wins is not the same as getting those two wins on two rolls.

There are things I'm not going to do in this life. There are a great many things that life will make sure is just up that hill. Call me Sisyphus.

I don't know how to not try. It hurts when I do. It hurts when I don't.

Other people certain things just fall in there lap.

Yes I'm jealous. I want to have fun. I want love. I wish the universe was just indifferent to me instead of against me.

I know it's bad when I'm staring off into nothing, just letting YouTube or whatever keep playing and I waste a day and notice it's still early. I just want it to be over.

I've tried explaining this but it's hard to explain. I'm living in my epilogue. My friends think I'm courageous for the way I stand up to and for people.

It's not courage, it's apathy with delusions of grandeur. I just don't care, my life's story is over.

Today I felt that even stronger. I'm ready for this to be over and am just waiting for the end.