Because Sometimes There Are Invisible Tests And Invisible Rules And You're Just Supposed To ... Know

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

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1 year ago
Just To Make A Point, Every Time I Finished A Panel Of This I Would Export It As A PNG On The Perceptual
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Just To Make A Point, Every Time I Finished A Panel Of This I Would Export It As A PNG On The Perceptual
Just To Make A Point, Every Time I Finished A Panel Of This I Would Export It As A PNG On The Perceptual
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Just To Make A Point, Every Time I Finished A Panel Of This I Would Export It As A PNG On The Perceptual
Just To Make A Point, Every Time I Finished A Panel Of This I Would Export It As A PNG On The Perceptual

Just to make a point, every time I finished a panel of this I would export it as a PNG on the perceptual setting and use it as a color reference for the next panel

IT'S BAD

PLEASE CHECK YOUR COLOR SETTINGS

EDIT: If you're still having problems, it might help to switch from "Save/Save as" to "Export (as a) Single Layer". Just. Make SURE the box labeled "Expression Color" is set to RGB. I've been messing with this all day, and it looks like this combination of settings will allow exported PNGs to maintain their colors perfectly. To you. So far both Discord and Toyhouse still only display desaturated images and I cannot for the life of me figure out why


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2 years ago
Pigeon Comic 44 - Under Pressure
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Stay coo’, pigeon army.

2 years ago
Your Daily Dose Of Cat Memes

Your daily dose of cat memes


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2 years ago

Spicy-brained friends, I would like to propose an update to the very useful ‘if you hate everyone, eat, if everyone hates you, sleep, and if you hate yourself, shower’ mantra to live by

Have you suddenly become a petty, hateful little gremlin who thinks people should face the firing squad for (checks notes) leaving teabags on the counter, breathing loudly, or daring to exist in the same space as you? Perhaps mundane and reasonable requests like ‘hey, we agreed to hang out now, let’s hang out’ make you want to scream and move to a yurt in the woods.

You. Are. Overstimulated.

People talk a lot about being overstimulated, and the physical/mental effects of it. What I haven’t seen is people talking about what it does emotionally, and it took me an embarassingly long time to link up those nitpicky, resentful emotions with the state of overstimulation/meltdown/shutdown.

These feelings do not mean that you’re a bad person! They probably aren’t how you actually feel about the people around you. They probably do mean that your nervous system is at its absolute limit and any request/demand/stimulus is Too Much and taking you into fight or flight territory.

Go lie down in a dark room for an hour, or find somewhere safe and familiar to stim for a bit. If it’s happening a lot, schedule yourself regular low-stimulation shutdown time

Signed: someone who moved in with their nearest and dearest only to have a massive crisis of faith about Suddenly Hating All of Them. I don’t hate them, it’s just overstimulating living with people. If I can spare anyone else a similar 9 months of suspecting that they may actually be a bit of a shit person, then this post is worth it!


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1 year ago

i think of this ProZD video constantly its always so fucking funny


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1 year ago
Title card reading: [Storyboarding Basics. Brought to you by NU Animation Club, March 23 2023]. There is a chibi drawing of Feeb drawing on a CINTIQ
Types of shots: Distance from the camera  Close shot: intimacy, emphasis on charater emotion. Example is a close up shot of Gandalf’s face from Fellowship of the Ring.  Long shot: grandiose, emphasis on location. Example is a long shot of Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn arriving at Rohan, visible on a hill in the distance, from the Two Towers.  Note: never start with a close shot. Start with as much location as possible to set the stage for your audience
Rule of thirds: Divide the screen into thirds horizontally and vertically. Try and keep focal points (like eyes) where the lines intersect!  Incorrect example shows Araluna from Archmage Ascending with her eyes below the top third horizontal line.  Correct example shows Araluna from Archmage Ascending with her eyes on the top third horizontal line.
Don’t cut characters off: make sure not to cut off a shot at the characters’ joints. Be especially careful of knees, elbows, hips.  Incorrect example shows a shot of Power and Denji posing for the camera. The left side of the frame cuts off at Power’s wrist. The bottom of the frame cuts off at Denji’s ankles.   Correct example shows a shot of Power and Denji posing for the camera. The left side of the frame cuts off at Power’s forearm. The bottom of the frame cuts off at Denji’s calves.
What is “shorthand”?  Shorthand: a very simplified art style for storybordd that prioritized shape  Do: include shape, size, expression  Do not: include detail  Example is an image of Ryuk from Death Note besides a shorthand drawing of him to scale.  These are NOT illustrations / lineart, they are GUIDES!
Perspective & Gridlines: It is NECESSARY to include gridlines to make your perspective clear for the background artist.   An incorrect example shows Araluna falling on a blank background.  Three correct examples show the same image with gridlines in the background. One shows the gridline as a flat ground. The other shows the gridlone a slanted background in fish eye perspective. The last shows the gridline as a receding wall parallel to the character.
Perspective cheat code: No matter how close characters* are to the camera, the horizontal line will always cross them at the same part of their body.  * must be the same height  Incorrect example shows the horizon line cross Dokja Kim at his shoulders and Junghyeok Yoo, who is in the background, at his knees.  Correct example shows the horizon line cross Dokja Kim and Junghyeok Yoo, who is in the background, at their shoulders.
Perspective tip! Try to avoid having the horizon line run through the middle of the screen.  Raising or lowering the the horizon gives your shots a cinematic feel.  Incorrect shot of Riza Hawkeye running in a forest has the horizon line crossing the center of the frame.   Incorrect shot of Riza Hawkeye running in a forest has the horizon line crossing close to the top of the frame.   Incorrect shot of Riza Hawkeye running in a forest has the horizon line crossing close to the bottom of the frame.

a couple snippets from a presentation i gave at school this past week on storyboarding!!

‼️DISCLAIMER: I am a still a student and have only worked on student and indie projects! This is just stuff that I personally find helpful as an amateur, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt!

Happy boarding, friends! ✍️💕


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10 months ago

hot artists don't gatekeep

I've been resource gathering for YEARS so now I am going to share my dragons hoard

Floorplanner. Design and furnish a house for you to use for having a consistent background in your comic or anything! Free, you need an account, easy to use, and you can save multiple houses.

Comparing Heights. Input the heights of characters to see what the different is between them. Great for keeping consistency. Free.

Magma. Draw online with friends in real time. Great for practice or hanging out. Free, paid plan available, account preferred.

Smithsonian Open Access. Loads of free images. Free.

SketchDaily. Lots of pose references, massive library, is set on a timer so you can practice quick figure drawing. Free.

SculptGL. A sculpting tool which I am yet to master, but you should be able to make whatever 3d object you like with it. free.

Pexels. Free stock images. And the search engine is actually pretty good at pulling up what you want.

Figurosity. Great pose references, diverse body types, lots of "how to draw" videos directly on the site, the models are 3d and you can rotate the angle, but you can't make custom poses or edit body proportions. Free, account option, paid plans available.

Line of Action. More drawing references, this one also has a focus on expressions, hands/feet, animals, landscapes. Free.

Animal Photo. You pose a 3d skull model and select an animal species, and they give you a bunch of photo references for that animal at that angle. Super handy. Free.

Height Weight Chart. You ever see an OC listed as having a certain weight but then they look Wildly different than the number suggests? Well here's a site to avoid that! It shows real people at different weights and heights to give you a better idea of what these abstract numbers all look like. Free to use.

1 year ago

Hey trans people I just want to remind you that your experience is your own and there is no wrong way to describe it.

If you feel like you were "born in the wrong body", that's fine.

If you feel like you "used to be X gender but now you're Y gender", that's fine.

If you feel like you "were an X gender who chose to be a Y gender", that's fine.

If you feel like you've "always been Y gender", that's fine.

If you look at things with your deadname on or pre-transition photos and feel a sense of connection or recognition, that's fine.

If you look at things with your deadname on or pre-transition photos and feel like it's a completely different person, that's fine.

If you feel like you "killed the X gender you used to be", that's fine.

If you feel like "the X gender you used to be is still here but they're Y gender now", that's fine

Personally, I like to say that the little girl is still around, she just lets me do the talking now.

It's your experience and you can describe it however you choose.


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arcticbluebird - he take a big steppy
he take a big steppy

Finch || they/them or ae/aer || amateur artist and hot mess

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