YOU CAN'T SEE ME BEHIND THE SCREEN...

I’ve come to make an announcement: Gordon Freeman’s a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking passport. That’s right. He took his scientist fuckin’ physics dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING passport, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that’s disgusting. So I’m making a callout post on my Wikipedia.com. Gordon Freeman, you got a small dick. It’s the size of this soda can except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like. That’s right, baby. Tall math, no science, no missing hand, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my passport, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck your feet. That’s right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER DICK! Except I’m not gonna piss on your feet. I’m gonna go higher. I’m pissing on the HEV SUIT! How do you like that, GMAN? I PISSED ON THE HEV SUIT, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking Black Mesa test facility, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

happy belated grian day! ft my favorite mc skins

hehehehehe Mingus,,,

many thanks to @amorphous-v01d for the vision

I changed my profile!

The header image is kinda broken so oops.

IT'S HIS FIRST FUCKING LINE

I was expecting it to be a level of fan overanalyzing or that Apollo would trigger it with some dialog but no Klavier literally just turns up, clocks Apollo as gay and immediately starts flirting. The first piece of information they want us to have is he's bi and he's here to fuck.

hm. yeah :)

i literally hate dream so much what does he think he’s doing. he’ll log onto minecraft dot hell and will be like. today i will beat the game but i can’t use my hands and i’m bliindfolded. tomorrow? the same. i see no god up here but me. perhaps after teatime i will kill four players and then the ender dragon all at once. clutching is for amateurs, i build whole houses while i wait for my enemies to approach their impending doom. for my next trick i will use a boat, a toothpick, and this random nether pig thing to kill the president. i know literally every bug. i personally beat notch up and now i own minecraft. with this fishing rod i will take out a significant proportion of the us navy while i sing sea shanties. god looked me in the face and sent himself to hell

no you fucking didn't

Keep reading

First meet

The favor eret asked for after was cash for the strawberry dress.