I Know The Hot Topic Right Now Is Anya Protecting Damian, But I Always Imagined That He Would Get His

sometimes I just suddenly get idea to draw Yor and I get something like this 🍎

summer day

Damian Desmond: An Attachment Perspective

**Spoilers for SxF Chapter 106 Below**

I loved this chapter for so many reasons, but the one I really want to highlight today is that Damian may be insecurely attached, but he still has hope. And that he is so brave, in his own way.

Exhibit A: When Damian knocks on Demetrius' door and asks for help, I am 100% positive that Damian wasn't truly expecting a response from Demetrius. He's used to being ignored, especially by his own family.

But he tried anyway.

This is important, because most children of Damian's age who fall under the category of avoidant attachment wouldn't approach a situation like this where there is a possibility that they would be rejected. It speaks volumes to me that Damian has a sense that he would be turned away, but still he tries.

"I was hoping..."

Exhibit B: There is also this moment where we see that Damian wanted to say something, and then he silences himself before he can say anything.

(Don't cry, Lass, omg dont cry 😭😭😭 )

Damian is initially afraid, so he silences himself, but then there is this moment, where he pulls himself together, and tries again.

Endo is so brilliant at drawing out moments of important decisions for characters. You can see Damian making the decision to say something, and gather his courage, but he only falls short once he actually succeeds at getting Donovan's attention.

Under the heavy gaze of the head of the Desmond dynasty, I'm not surprised that 6-year old Damian felt his resolve crumble.

But!

He reverts to another option: find support. Which leads me to...

Exhibit C: This one makes me sob, actually. In response to his wavering confidence, Damian looks to his mother for support. The woman who should be his primary caregiver, and therefore his primary attachment figure.

And she turns away.

(Tears, tears down my face, my boy doesn't deserve this 😭 )

This is the third moment in this chapter alone that Damian does something that no other Desmond would dare: he seeks connection.

Damian tried to connect with his brother, his father, and his mother, all in the same chapter. He is the sole character that links them all.

All through Chapter 106, these are the moments that stood out to me the most, because it truly shows to me that Damian still has hope. Demetrius and Melinda are very clearly ingrained in their roles, and their behaviour is crystallised into what we see as the reader. It's obvious that this isn't the first time that Demetrius has rebuffed Damian's requests; and this isn't the first time that Melinda has ignored Damian's emotional needs.

I hear you wondering: Does Damian still have hope because he's still just a child?

Maybe. It's certainly possible. But I also want to highlight that Damian is insecurely attached; specifically showing an insecure-avoidant attachment style.

Children with this style of attachment typically experience high levels of emotional neglect, where their primary caregiver consistently does not meet their emotional needs. This leads the child to value independence, autonomy, and self-reliance, and to generally see others as untrustworthy.

We see this in Damian. He believes he is better, usually weaponising the Desmond name to place himself above others, but there is also an element where he believes he is better, because he ranks highly in the social hierarchy, and he achieves brilliant grades on his own merit, demonstrating his own self-reliance.

(Side note: Issues stemming from an avoidant attachment style can still coexist with self-esteem issues, but I'm trying not to complicate this post lol).

My point: Damian has experienced enough rejection in his childhood that he shouldn't even be trying with his own family anymore. But he does. He keeps trying. Damian still hopes that he can connect with his family, and I think that this is because this is a part of his actual personality.

On the inside, Damian is complex; he struggles with the weight of his identity, he is trying to find his place in the world, he yearns for attention and validation (specifically from his father), he finds comfort in believing that he is better than other people (even his friends), he struggles to handle big emotions, he prefers to work things through independently, and struggles to be vulnerable and ask for help, and he lies to himself about his big feelings so that he can avoid feeling them.

And my favourite thing about him: he still keeps trying. He gathers his courage. He gets back up. Time and time again he feels afraid, and time and time again he feels the fear and he tries anyway.

Damian is so brave, in his own way.

Damian: Could you not stand so close? You’re making me claustrophobic.

Anya: What does claustrophobic mean?

Becky: It means he's afraid of Santa Clause

Damian: No, it doesn't.

Anya: HO HO HO

Emile: Stop it, you’re scaring him!!!

a rough fanart for this lovely fanfic that i think about a lot!

when he found out that anya knew the truth all long…

※ the writing in the picture is not mine. it belongs to one of my favorite (if not THE favorite) fanworks written by the lovely @piracytheorist!

a little out of the blue, this is along the line of things i've wanted to draw for fun since forever…! the latest chapter reminded me in a way… apologies for the quick roughness, it's like practice, or a trial run for these ✍️ i'd like to do more and practice different things! like backgrounds...

※ anywho- masterpost of the entire work here, for those interested in reading it too! (see warnings!)

https://piracytheorist.tumblr.com/post/720279101761552384/macabre-theme-and-variations-masterpost (i just really, really love it. and the way that twilight, yor, anya, and everyone is written. i shouldn't go in too much depth about it, but there's something about how it covers this aspect between loid and anya- can you imagine how loid would feel if he found out that anya knew since the BEGINNING that he's been lying to her? well, this fic covers it and i LOVE. IT.)

hi!! i really like your damianya arts, they look so pretty! there's something soft about them that makes me smile ^^

HII!!! OHH THANK YOU SM!! <3<3<3 AHHHH I CHERISH THOSE WORDS THANK YOUU mWAH ^ *^

Hey there Ama! I was wondering if you take or were considering taking commissions?

Also love your Damianya art! Especially what you made for Damianya week last year!

Hiii!! ohh thanks for asking mehehe I actually thought about it, but unfortunately I won't be able to take your payment via paypal.. If you wouldn't mind some other services, or payment methods, I'd be happy to open a price and draw something for you <3

OHH and thank you very much, I'm really glad you like my Damianya art!!! ^3^ <3<3<3 OMG it's been a year since Damianya Week.....what??!!!!

yaay damianyaweek 🎉 Day 1: prom

Outfit change

Jjj He looks super weird 😭😭