I Feel Like I’m Drowning Again. I’m Falling Back Into Old, Bad Habits, Losing Motivation To Do Anything

i received some hateful words on Instagram from a fellow Muslim. the usual "oh you're not fasting for Ramadan? Don't be Muslim then." and also the usual "queer Muslims don't exist." I try not to let these things bother me. I ended up blocking this person because I really don't need that energy in my life. It just got me thinking.

I'll never be the "ideal" Muslim. Never. I'll never be able to pray 5 times a day. I'll never be able to fast for Ramadan (not because I don't want to. I do want to. I have health issues that prevent me from doing so.) I'll never be seen as valid because I'm queer. I'll never be able to give up certain spiritual practices i had in the past. I'll never be accepted by the general Muslim community.

And as much as I want to ignore all the people saying I can't be Muslim because of so and so, it makes me wonder if they're right. I'm trying my best.

"i do x because of my autism."

"don't use your autism as an excuse."

i am not. i am giving them a reason as to why i word things in a certain way. i am giving them a reason why i think/perceive things in a certain manner. i am giving them a reason why i am never on time. why i need them to be more specific than that. why i did not understand what they meant. why getting out of bed is sometimes the hardest thing i can do that day. i am giving them a reason why i cannot eat certain foods, touch certain things or why i need something to be a certain way. i am giving them a reason why i do not like people. why i do not like going to certain places.

i am not using my autism as an excuse. i am merely giving you a reason why.

I have finished 1 task of moderate difficulty. This is why I believe I deserve a round of applause from you all.

hi i kinda disappeared but its just that my life is not that interesting so i don't have much to say!! anyway love this song! i relate

Sid: Jesus, what are they all doing?

Michelle: They're trying to be happy, Sid. It isn't easy.

he did nothing wrong

i just think it's funny (not really) how my local muslim community can comprehend the fact that His Angels are genderless/nonbinary but not people?? 😭 this is literally proof genderless/nonbinary beings exist

understimulated & overstimulated

a communication card for our system