May 10, 2025
May 10, 2025
Being quite rational and into metaphysics means someone always takes it too far. I can do Human Design right up until they start talking about "The New Paradigm" and I have to check out. My favorite YouTube tarot reader is so on point (she called what I'm experiencing right now with Mars in Leo – the drive to be out and seen again) and is an anarchist.
(It's always funny how these "radicals" are people of privilege who won't feel the real consequences of their predictions. Meanwhile, my black ass – a daughter of addicts who fought tooth and nail for the structure and stability they all deride – has a real life and a 70 year old mother about to retire who may or may not have access to social security or health care but please. Continue to regale us about how "failing institutions are actually good for us").
Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. The problem is they nail the personal shit so I can't quit them. Just take what works, leave the rest, and trust myself to handle whatever fuckery the world throws my way.
But the being lit up again? That shit is real. I can't stay inside or off the phone. I'm thinking at the speed of the light, craving movement and stimulation. What I thought was living was only resting and preparation for my next era. The Back Outside, Doing, and Making Era. The Go Time, Ready or Not Era.
It's wild, heady shit.
More Posts from Afallenvenusian and Others
May 11, 2025
The Self is just a story your mind tells you. At any moment you can decide to tell a new one
If Lewis Hamilton can get Lauryn Hill out of the house, to an event, ON TIME...
I have to believe he can fix Ferrari.
Discernment
Burgers and red wine
Spring mornings in my bedroom
Pay day
Heating pads
Grateful for...
Breathable cotton undies
Men's ribbed tanks
Money to spend
Friends to bounce ideas off
Having ideas again
Neptune in Aries
Silent nights
Rewatchables episodes
Rainbows in the sky outside my window
May 6, 2025
The last two days? Much better.
Figured out how to start a private Substack that requires subscription approvals (score one for utilizing the benefits of that platform without its non-sense). Made sure I got in my requisite movement yesterday (a 30 minute walk). Politely told the friend who flaked on hanging out over the weekend not to ask me anywhere else unless she plans to actually show up.
Re: the Substack. I popped open a blank page and the words showed up. Liked I turned on a fucking faucet. It was incredible. Shout out to Neptune in Aries opposite my Mercury. I told a friend it feels like my mind is drowning in fire.
And so's my body. Spent an extra few minutes in bed this morning for some self-care, because shit. I felt good. Took longer than usual to put on my clothes because I couldn't stop looking at myself. I graduated college 19 years ago today. This is the finest I've ever felt.
Apparently, I just needed some movement.
May 8, 2025
Thanks to the Motrin cocktail required to sleep through my cramps last night, yesterday feels like a hazy blur.
I sent the link for my new (private) Substack to four friends. Each was excited to see me writing again, but will they read it? Time will tell. Either way, putting work into the world felt good.
Caught a lecture about the origins of my local art museum last night. As I'm prone to do, I had a friendly chat with a stranger at the bar while I waited for the lecture to begin. Coincidentally, she works in an industry adjacent to my own. We had a few common acquaintances. We also shared deep pride in our city as a cultural hub (Top 10 art museum, Top 8 orchestra, second (or third) largest theater district in the nation — put some respect on our name) and perfect food city. #ClevelandRocks.
The lecture was interesting and informative. A perfectly fine way to spend an evening. By the time I got home, PMS fatigue had your girl down bad. I ended the night with repeat watchings of Lewis Hamilton and Charles Leclerc doing a logistics-themed escape challenge and if I thought they couldn't get hotter, I was wrong. Fine ass race car drivers doing math and problem-solving...
Good lord.
My boss is back from out of town today, ending my emotional reprieve (last week was a week — I needed space). I'm soaking up the silence until he arrives.
Until next time.
